


My Angel Flies Away

by RizzV825



Category: Jessley - Fandom, Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22909837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RizzV825/pseuds/RizzV825
Summary: The Barden Bellas have long since graduated. Since their USO Tour, many of them have started families. When they lose one of there own, they all come together to help a fellow Bella through her terrible loss.
Relationships: Ashley Jones/Jessica Smith, Beca Mitchell/Aubrey Posen, Cynthia-Rose Adams/Stacie Conrad
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Today is a day the Bellas all get a chance to get together, have some fun, and catch up on what's been going on this past year. Ashley and Jessica are at home getting ready to go to a Memorial Day barbecue hosted by Stacie and Cynthia-Rose at their new house they moved into a few months ago. Ashley is in the bathroom changing, while Jessica is feeding their six month old baby boy, Charlie. The two of them were married the summer after graduating from Barden, and three and a half years later, Jessica gave birth to their son. Their family and friends were all thrilled for the young couple as this was a long time coming for them. It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach, where all of the Bellas were in attendance to celebrate their closest friends starting their lives together. Both Ashley and Jessica have enjoyed every moment of marriage and family life, and were excited to see what else was in store for them.   
Since the USO Tour, many of the Bellas were married, and have started families of their own. Beca and Aubrey have a two year old girl named Sophia, While Stacie and Cynthia-Rose are up to three children. 8yr old Ahliyah, 5yr old Dimitri, and the arrival of baby Bella just last year. It's crazy to think about where these girls started when they first came together as Barden Bellas, and where they are today. Beca and Aubrey certainly didn't hit it off right away, but they slowly got to know each other, and found they have more in common than they thought. Both of them often finding it difficult to live up to a father's expectations. Today the two have found a true confidant in one another, and they couldn't be more in love.   
Stacie has had her share of good and bad relationships, but with Cynthia-Rose this whole thing feels honest and genuine. It's the first time Stacie feels truly cared for, and she couldn't be more proud of her family.   
For Ashley and Jessica it was like a romance most people only read about in stories. The two have known each other since the eight grade, and quickly became best friends. Their friendship was always open and honest, and there was nothing these two didn't share with one another. Naturally their friendship turned into love, and it's probably the easiest decision Ashley has ever made when she proposed to the love of her life.   
Soon both ladies were ready as Jessica hooked Charlie into his car seat, and it was off to their Memorial Day celebration. Ashley is driving while Jessica has the directions. There was another left, then a right into the cul de sac as they spotted the house. 

"Yeah, it's the one with the Air Force flag." Jessica pointed. 

They parked out front, carried out the baby, and the snacks for the party, and made their way inside. They were greeted immediately by Stacie and CR who took in the snacks, and hugged the two of them. 

"Hey you two." Stacie greeted happily. "Wow, he's getting so big already."   
"Yeah, he's been starting to try and crawl." Jessica told her. "Right now he's just scooting around."   
"Well enjoy it while it lasts. Once they're mobile, no object is safe." Stacie laughed.

She remembers when all her babies were cute little roly poly potatoes. Now little Bella is a year old, and running faster than her mommies can sometimes keep up. 

"No, he has to stay our little baby boy forever." Ashley said.  
"He'll always be our baby boy." Jessica replied while transferring Charlie to a front carrier strapped to her. Next they were greeted by Beca and Aubrey with their two year old daughter, Sophia.  
"Hey Mama." Aubrey greeted Jessica with a hug.  
The two couples greeted one another with hugs and kisses, while doting over the children.   
"I can't believe how big he is now." Aubrey said. "Sophia, can you say 'hi' to Charlie?"  
"Hi, Charlie." The little girl waved.  
"Wow, Sophia is so pretty. She looks just like you." Ashley told Aubrey.  
"Well, thank you." Aubrey giggled. "Hey Sophia, did you tell your aunts what you're gonna be?"   
"A big sister." Sophia said excitedly.  
Jessica and Ashley were astonished and excited as everyone looked toward Beca.   
"Yeah, we'll be expecting number two soon." Aubrey told them wrapping her arm around Beca, and their friends congratulated them.  
They made their way through the rest of the party, greeted by all of their other friends, catching up on their lives and careers. Fat Amy has been doing well with her one woman show, and it's on a stage this time instead of a street corner. It's not broadway, but a stage nonetheless. As out there as Amy is, people still find her entertaining, and she even got a positive newspaper review. Chloe is excelling at vet school. She got a vet assistant job, and is able to work while learning. She has even adopted a dog. Also Flo's juice business has taken off, and she has since opened three new locations in the state of New York. Ashley has been working towards being an X-Ray Tech in her mom's dentist office, and Jessica is working as a photo journalist for an online magazine. She has since returned to work after her maternity leave.   
The weather outside was perfect for today's barbecue, as everyone reconvened out on the deck with plenty of food to go around. Ashley comes back seated next to her wife with a plate made up for her. She has been quite the caretaker for Jessica since they've been together, and especially since she was pregnant. When the two of them found out they were going to have a baby, they were positively elated. Ashley was there for Jessica every step of the way, getting everything ready for the baby, giving her pregnant wife plenty of back rubs, and being a wonderful support system when she was feeling nervous. Jessica is grateful to Ashley for putting up with her mood swings, and restless nights throughout her pregnancy. She doesn't know how she'd have done it without her.   
The party continues with the girls hanging out by the pool. Stacie and CR's kids get along with Beca and Aubrey's daughter, Sophia as all of them are playing in the kiddie pool. The moms of the group are sitting around comparing their pregnancy stories, offering Beca the benefit of their experience. Stacie brings Beca crackers to settle her queezy stomach. Meanwhile Jessica is enjoying some slices apples, and the subject of pregnancy cravings comes up. 

"The entire time she was pregnant, she craved apples, and she still can't stop eating them." Ashley explained.   
"I didn't really crave fruit while I was pregnant." Aubrey told them.  
"Yeah, for her it was Funyons." Beca added. "They made the whole bedroom stink."   
Comparing their mom stories has been a good time, and the girls felt like there would always be someone around to answer any parenting questions that may come up. It certainly felt like they were growing as adults in this stage of their lives.  
The sun was starting to set, and the girls were gathered around a campfire. Ashley and Jessica are cuddled up together with baby Charlie asleep on Ashley's chest. There was a sense of calm listening to the fire crackle in the night air, while everyone enjoyed the warmth, and toasting marshmallows with the kids. Stacie and CR were pleased the first party in their new home went off without a hitch. They hoped to see more birthdays and graduation parties, and make more memories in this backyard. It was essentially just a house, but their friends and family made it a home. It felt like a long time to get to a good place. These girls have been through so much together with good and bad times, but finally they're in a place where it feels like they're supposed to be.   
"Well I think it's time we get this little guy home, but thanks so much for having us." Jessica told Stacie with a hug.   
"Oh, thank you for coming. It was really good seeing you."  
Everyone said their goodbyes, and the young couple went on their way. Jessica and Ashley held hands in the car the whole ride home talking about the party, and how good it was to see everyone. Charlie sat back in his car seat, clutching his teddy bear and gazing out the window. Before long he caught Jessica's glance in the mirror, and gave his mom a smile. This little one has given his mommies so much joy. He's grown so much in this short amount of time, and they wanted to treasure every moment watching him grow up. Finally they were home, and Ashley was finishing getting ready for bed. She came to the doorway of their son's nursery watching Jessica rock their baby in her arms while singing him to sleep. Ashley stood there smiling, listening to her wife's beautiful voice.

"I need you so, that I could die  
I love you so, and that is why  
Whenever I want you  
All I have to do is dream..." 

Jessica looked up at her wife and smiled.

"Hey."  
"He's finally asleep?" Ashley asked kneeling down next to them.  
"Yeah, our little man had a big day today." Jessica smiled while Ashley kissed the top of his head.  
She couldn't help but stare down at their baby boy while stroking his small tuft of blonde hair. He was looking more like Jessica everyday. The three of them made a great team, and they were really a family.   
"What are you thinking about?" Jessica asked.  
"How lucky I am. I have the family I've always wanted with the most wonderful woman in the world."   
Jessica is touched, taking her wife's hand, kissing her fingers.  
"I guess that makes me lucky too. I love you."  
The two met in the middle with a soft kiss.  
"I love you, too." Ashley told Jessica kissing her once more.  
They put Charlie to bed, then climbed into bed themselves, holding onto one another. This was something they could definitely get used to. Spending everyday with their wonderful family watching it grow, and at the end of the night falling asleep in each other's arms. 

Jessica woke to the sound of the alarm at 6:30 am, rolling over to switch it off. Ashley is slowly waking up herself with her wife rubbing her back.

"Hey, it's time to get up, my love." Jessica said kissing her wife's shoulder.   
"Mmm...it's that time already?"   
"Yup, time to go bang out a work day."   
Ashley rolls toward Jessica groaning at the thought of getting up.   
"Do we have to?"  
"Yes Baby, my mom will be here in ten minutes to watch Charlie, and we still have to feed him, and get dressed."   
Ashley was having none of it, and snuggled into her wife, making no effort to get up.   
"But I don't want to 'adult' today." Ashley said fake pouting.   
"We have to, Babes." Jessica said brushing back Ashley's hair. "As much as we don't want to."  
Ashley kisses Jessica's forehead, and wraps an arm around her waist.   
"But things are so perfect right here."   
"I'll tell you what. Why don't we get up, I'll make you a cup of coffee, and you can rest for a bit, while I feed Charlie. Give you some more time to relax."   
"Deal."   
Ashley gives her a kiss, then sits up in bed working up the energy to get up and get dressed. While pulling on her scrubs to go work at the dentist office, Ashley could make out the smell of dark roast coffee filling the kitchen. It was enough to get her up and moving, knowing what awaited her. Ashley pulled back her hair, and made her way in the kitchen, taking the cup of coffee handed to her by Jessica.   
"Thanks Baby." Ashley said kissing her wife before sitting in the living room.  
She sat down sipping her coffee while Jessica went to feed Charlie. This was a fairly regular routine, and for the most part the two were on the same schedule. Occasionally there was some overtime Jessica worked at the magazine, but more often than not, the young couple were both home at the same time. Life has been going well now that they've found their footing. They were able to find this house shortly after they got married, and although it took some time to get caught up financially, everything is going well now. Having Charlie has been a big change in their lives, but it's been the best change that could have possibly happened. It has made them a family, and has made this house a home. Waking up to his smile and giggles everyday has made his mommies so happy to have found one another, and to be sharing this together. Soon Jessica's mother, Evelyn arrives to watch her grandson, and Jessica comes out of the nursery with little Charlie in her arms. Evelyn greets her daughter and daughter-in-law before taking the baby in her arms, hugging ang kissing him.   
"Hi my Charlie Bear." Evelyn says kissing Charlie's forehead.   
She bounced him while he smiled and giggled along with her. Nothing made Evelyn happier than being a grandmother. She's missed the days of taking care of her own baby, who is now grown up with one of her own. She used to think having an adult daughter, and being called 'Grandma' would make her feel old, but it was quite the opposite. Charlie is a part of their family growing, and there would be more experiences to share with him, from his first steps, to his first day of pre-school, to learning to ride a bike. All of it was more to look forward to which didn't make Evelyn feel old at all. Alas it was time for the ladies to leave Charlie with his grandmother, and head out for their workday. Ashley and Jessica kissed goodbye, and headed out to their jobs.

Ashley arrives at work checking in before running into her mother, Madelyn. Working with her wasn't so bad. Madelyn is a dental hygienist, and Ashley has started out filing paperwork and answering phones, before getting her x-ray tech certification, and she can now assist with patients. Madelyn and Ashley saw each other sporadically throughout the workday, and would often take a lunch together. They've always gotten along well, so it wasn't a strain on them to work in the same place.   
Ashley is close with her mom, but doesn't know much about her father. His name is Ron, and he was married to Madelyn up until Ashley was four years old. She mostly just remembers them fighting alot, until he didn't live at home anymore. Ashley has a quasi friendly relationship with her father. She sees him maybe twice a year since he moved to Philadelphia several years ago. Ron knows his daughter is gay, and knows she is married, and seems to be fine with it. Other than the occasional visit, the two don't really talk.   
Finally it was time for lunch, and Ashley and Madelyn go across the street to their regular lunch spot. The two order their usual, and go grab a table. Madelyn has been positively thrilled to bea grandmother, and she can tell Ashley has been really happy since Charlie's birth.   
"So how does it feel with the two of you now back to work?" Madelyn asked.  
"It's hard not to think about Charlie the whole time, but I'm relieved that Evelyn is available during the day. I feel better with the baby being with his grandmother. As long as you guys don't mind."   
"Of course not, Honey. It's what Grandmothers do. Gives us a chance to spoil him."   
Ashley laughs.  
"He's so sweet. I can't believe how good he's been so far about going to sleep." Ashley told her.   
"He's sleeping through the night?"  
"Yeah, for the most part. For the first couple of months, Jess was up at three to feed him, but now he's great."   
"That's great, Honey. I'm glad to see you guys doing so well."   
"Speaking of babysitting, Jess and I want to have a date night. We were wondering if you could watch Charlie tonight?"   
"Sure, no problem. What time do you want me to come over?"   
"Around seven."   
"I'll be there."   
"Thank you." 

Later in the evening while Madelyn was home with Charlie, Jessica and Ashley are out on a date enjoying drinks at a karaoke bar. Jessica is flipping through the song choices just for fun, not really sure if she wants to sing something. One guy was up before, and sang "What I Like About You." Not the best voice, but he was having a good time, and he got an applause. Next to them was another couple, Shannon and Joe along with a friend of theirs, Mike whom they'd been talking to periodically. Soon the waitress came to freshen up their drinks.   
"How's it going so far ladies? Anybody planning on singing tonight?" asked the waitress   
"Hmm...thinking about it." Jessica told her. " Not sure if I am just yet."   
"Aw, you should do it." said Shannon at the next table.  
"Yeah please, It'll save us from having to hear this guy sing." Joe said motioning to Mike.   
"Ow, come on. I'm not that bad, am I ?"   
"Yes!" said both of them.   
Ashley smiled at her wife while nudging her elbow.   
"Go ahead, Babe. It'll be fun. Show them whatcha got."   
"Maybe." Jessica said with a shy smile.  
The group continued to encourage her, telling her she should get up and sing. She finally relented.   
"Okay."  
Jessica signed her name in, and soon she was called up to sing. Everyone clapped for her while she kept her gaze on Ashley the whole time.   
"Thank you, this song is dedicated to my wife, Ashley. I love you, Baby."   
Ashley smiled, and blew her a kiss mouthing 'I love you, too.' The song she chose is "All I Have To Do Is Dream." by The Everly Brothers. It's the same song they danced to at their wedding, and the first song they ever slow danced to in highschool, so it has always been special to them. Ashley listened to her wife sing while hearing a few people 'aww' around her, and one woman was starting to get misty eyed. Ashley's focus remained mainly on Jessica, and her voice that always captivated her. She was so proud to be with this wonderful woman, who always brought a smile to anyone around her. When Jessica finished her song, the whole room cheered as she made her way back to the table welcomed by a kiss from Ashley. People tell her how beautiful she sang, and how sweet she and Ashley were together. They talked briefly to the couple next to them about how they've been together since the eight grade, and they are now married with a baby. These two ladies were always happy to talk about their family because it's been the best thing to ever happen to them.   
The evening ended with Jessica and Ashley at home in their bed, holding each other close after having made love. Charlie was asleep, and the house was quiet while they kissed and cuddled closely. This has been a night out they've needed since having the baby, and it was nice to have some time to themselves. As Ashley looked into Jessica's eyes, and grazed her fingertips across bare skin, she thought about how she'd like nothing more than to spend every night this way. Through every workday good or bad, and every other thing that happened during the day, this was by far the best thing to come home to.   
It is 9pm Thursday night, and Ashley is home while Jessica has a late night working overtime, Charlie has been fed and put to bed, and Ashley is waiting for her wife to come home. Soon Ashley's phone rings, and it's Jessica.   
"Hey Baby."  
"Hey Ash. I'm leaving work right now. I'm just going to stop and get milk, then I'll be home."   
"Okay, hurry back Baby. I miss you."   
"I miss you, too." Jessica laughed. "I love you."   
"I love you, too. See ya soon."   
Ashley hung up, and waited for Jessica. It wouldn't be long now. Jessica worked only a half an hour away, and Ashley would soon be able to spend another night with her wife, while the two of them both have a day off tomorrow. She was really looking forward to it.   
Jessica was also excited for she and Ashley to have a day off tomorrow. She's picked up milk, and is now heading home after a long day. Jessica truly did love her job, the magazine was a great place to work, and she got to be among interesting people. On long workdays like this she couldn't wait to get home, kiss her baby, and be with Ashley. There was no place in the world that made her happier than being with her family, and Jessica couldn't wait to get there, but then...

BANG...

It has been almost an hour, and Ashley is starting to worry. She wasn't that far away; surely she's be right back. Jessica was never late; not even once. Ashley tried calling her three times now, but there was still no answer. She tried like hell to come up with a logical explanation for why Jessica wasn't home yet, and wanted to keep herself from assuming the worst. She just wished she's hear from her wife, and know for sure because it was driving her crazy. A sudden knock at the door made Ashley jump from her seat as she went to answer. There she saw two police officers at her door as Ashley held her breath.  
"Ashley Jones?"   
"Yes?"   
"I'm Officer Burke, this is Officer Jenkins. May we come in, and speak to you?"  
"Is this about my wife? Is she okay?'' Ashley asked.   
"We should go inside and talk." Officer Burke told her.   
The three of them go in the house, and sit in the living room. Ashley's heart was pounding, and she couldn't breathe. She couldn't imagine what they were there to tell her.   
"Where's Jessica?" Ashley asked with barely a whisper.   
Officer Burke took a breath before speaking.   
"Ms. Jones I'm very sorry, your wife Jessica was in an accident tonight. She was driving on Collins Rd. when a dump truck ran the red light, and hit the driver's side of the car. There's no easy way to say this, but when the police and ambulance arrived she was already dead. I'm really sorry."   
Ashley felt like she had the wind knocked out of her, and the whole world stopped at that moment. She didn't want this to be real. It couldn't be real. It had to be a horrible nightmare she was having.   
'Wake up, damn it . Wake up!'  
Ashley's lip started to quiver, and tears blurred her vision. She couldn't believe the love of her life was gone, just like that. This wasn't supposed to happen; it couldn't be happening. She looked up at the officer attempting to speak.   
"Her parents, do they know?" Ashley asked Officer Burke.   
"Units were sent to the house to notify them." 

Ashley nodded still in a state of shock. She didn't even feel like she was in her body right now, and she was mildly startled by tears hitting her hand.   
"Ms. Jones is there anyone we can call to come and stay here with you." Officer Burke asked.   
"My mother." Ashley uttered, absently handing him her phone.   
"Okay. I'll call her."   
Officer Burke stepped in the kitchen to call Madelyn, while Officer Jenkins stayed with Ashley, laying a hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort the grieving widow.   
"I'm so sorry." Officer Jenkins spoke softly.  
Officer Jenkins was merely twenty-one, and this was her first notification. Of all she's experienced so far as a police officer, this was truly the hardest part of the job. No one deserves to hear news like this, and she truly felt bad for Ashley.   
"Your mother will be here soon." Officer Burke told her, and Ashley nodded.   
Ashley sat there thinking about her little baby boy sleeping in the next room. How was this six month old baby supposed to understand that his mommy was gone. He wouldn't grow up to know her, and how wonderful she was. Ashley would miss watching Jessica sing him to sleep every night. She was determined to let Charlie know how much Jessica loved him, and to always make him feel like plenty of people here loved and cared for him as well. It was something she feared having to take on alone. Within ten minutes Madelyn came in the front door, and Ashley rushed to her mother, sobbing in her arms.  
"Oh Sweetheart. I'm so sorry." Madelyn cried while kissing her daughter's cheek.   
The two officers offered their condolences once more before leaving them to deal with this terrible tragedy. Ashley held tight to her mother while her tears flowed freely. Madelyn managed to get her to sit on the couch while continuing to comfort her. She didn't know what to say to her daughter. Nothing you could say would make things better, and it pained her to see Ashley having to go through this.   
It was heartbreaking that something like this could happen to someone as sweet and wonderful as Jessica. She made Ashley so happy, and Madelyn was glad these two had found each other. Jessica would truly be missed by everyone that knew her. Madelyn continued to hold her daughter tight, and just wanted to be there for her.   
"Can I make you a cup of tea?" Madelyn asked while Ashley shook her head 'no'.   
"Is Charlie still sleeping?" Ashley asked her mother.   
"I'll go check on him." 

Ashley sat in silence for a moment just not wanting to feel anything right now. Her heart felt weak, and her whole body felt weak as a big part of her was missing. It wasn't supposed to be this way. There life was supposed to be happy together with the love they had for each other, and for Charlie. Ashley didn't know what she was going to do now.   
"He's doing fine; he's still sleeping." Madelyn told her, and Ashley nodded.   
"Are you sure I can't make you a cup of tea, Sweetie?"   
"Okay." Ashley relented.   
She's glad her mother is here right now, and doesn't know what she's do without her. Madelyn brings Ashley her cup of tea while sitting next to her, and Ashley quietly sips it.   
"Thank you for coming over so late."   
"Oh, of course Sweetheart. I'm here for you as long as you need me to be."   
Ashley layed her head on her mother's shoulder while Madelyn hugged her tight. Ashley snuggled into her mom starting to cry again. She tried not to, but there was no stopping the tears, and didn't know if she'd ever be able to stop at this point.   
"She was supposed to be right back." Ashley cried. "She was getting milk, and she was supposed to be right home. She was so close."   
"Im so sorry, Baby." Madelyn said while kissing her temple.   
She drew Ashley in close, and just let her cry. Madelyn set the cup of tea on the table so it didn't spill, while Ashley started sobbing into her chest. She cried hard until she coudln't breathe. Ashley couldn't conceive of being in anymore pain right now. She was completely broken down, and the world she thought would always bring her happiness was now a dark and cruel place where her greatest love was taken away. leaving her cold and alone. If not for Charlie's sake, Ashley didn't think she could bare to be here to face this pain. Soon her crying was mostly subsided yet she still had the shakes. Madelyn wiped her daughter's tears away now that she has calmed down.   
"You should try to get some sleep, Honey."   
"I don't think I can."   
"Please Honey, try. Let me help you to bed."   
"I can't sleep in there. Not without Jessica." Ashley cried wiping her tears away.   
"Okay sweetie, you sleep right here. I'll go get you a blanket." 

Madelyn went to the hall closet to grab a blanket. By the time she came back to the couch, Ashley has fallen asleep on the arm out of pure exhaustion. Madelyn lifted up her feet then covered her up. This has been the worst night of their lives, and Madelyn hoped she could help Ashley through this. For now they both needed rest, and they would talk more in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Aubrey and Beca arrive at Stacie and CR's home for breakfast with their daughter, Sophia. Upon entering Sophia runs off to play with the other kids, and the two ladies sit at the kitchen island while CR has a batch of scrambled eggs cooking on the stove. Stacie comes in to greet them, offering the two ladies coffee. Aubrey and Beca made up the cups of coffee to their own liking while talking about how much they enjoyed the barbecue. 

"You guys did a really nice job with the barbecue here." Aubrey told them. "I think everybody really had fun."   
"Thank you." Stacie replied. "I'm happy we found a place with a pool. I know that's something the kids really enjoy. Who knows, maybe we could be the party house if we keep having successes like this one."  
Stacie says wrapping around CR from behind, kissing her cheek. CR empties the pan of eggs on a large plate, and calls the kids to eat while everyone digs in. She cracks another egg in the pan to start an omelette for Stacie.   
"Baby, do you know what you want on your omelette?" CR ask.   
"Do we still have those sliced mushrooms?"  
"Yeah, I think they're on the bottom shelf of the fridge."   
Stacie opens up the fridge to look when her cell phone rings in the bedroom, and she hops up to answer it. Meanwhile CR ask Beca more about her pregnancy.  
"So how have you been feeling lately?" CR asks Beca.   
"Uh, not bad. The nausea isn't as bad these days. I'm mostly just tired and gassy." Beca says.  
"Yes, very gassy." Aubrey teases.   
"Hey you were no better, my dear." Beca says playfully nudging her wife.  
All are laughing having a good time, but the laughter quickly subsides when Stacie returns to the kitchen in tears.   
"Hey Stace, what's going on?" CR asks.   
"That was Ashley's mom. She told me Jessica was in a car accident last night. She was driving home from work when a dump truck ran the red light, and hit her car." Stacie sniffles. "She didn't make it."   
All of them were completely shocked by this, and couldn't speak. CR wrapped her arm around Stacie, while Beca layed a hand on Aubrey's arm as she noticed her wife wiping away tears.   
"Oh my God, poor Ashley. How's she doing?" Aubrey asked.   
"She's a wreck." Stacie told her. "Her mom has been there all night. I don't think either one of them got any sleep." Stacie sighs "Oh my God, I can't believe it. This is awful."   
"We should go see her." Aubrey said.  
"Yeah, I was thinking around eleven would be good. Gives them some time to sleep in a little."says Stacie.   
They agree, and take the time to have something to eat before going to see their friend. 

It's 10am when Ashley wakes up the next morning. She cracks her eyes open just staring at the edge of the pillow. She didn't want to be awake yet. If she wasn't awake, she wouldn't have to feel, if she didn't have to feel then she didn't have to hurt. Ashley thought if she could just stay numb for as long as possible, she could keep from crying again. While laying there, Ashley became aware of her mother milling around the kitchen. Madelyn has already fed Charlie, and sat him in his baby swing while making breakfast for herself and Ashley. She hoped she could get her daughter to eat something this morning. It was the least Madelyn could do to try, and get Ashley up and moving. Nothing anybody said or did would bring Jessica back, but Madelyn is going to do everything in her power to support Ashley through this rough time. Eventually Ashley mustered the energy to sit up on the couch while her mother brought her a cup of tea, some toast and a few eggs. Ashley picked up her plate, and nibbled a bit on her food, offering her mom a half smile.   
"Thank you." Ashley said continuing to eat her breakfast. 

Madelyn sat quietly next to Ashley, rubbing her shoulder. While they were both going through the motions this morning, Madelyn thought of Jessica, and how warm and friendly her smile was. From the time these two met when they were just kids, Madelyn remembered how great she thought Ashley and Jessica were together. Ashley would come home from school, and Jessica was all she could talk about. They were the best of friends, and when they became more than friends it seemed only natural. Jessica was a good girl, and the best daughter-in-law Madelyn could have possibly asked for. She and Ashley are both missing her already.   
Madelyn continued to keep Ashley company while she ate her breakfast. She's glad that her daughter is at least eating something this morning. She wasn't sure if Ashley would be willing to with how upset she is, but so far so good. 

"Honey, I just want you to know that I'm here for the long haul, for as long as you want me to be." Madelyn told her. "I'll be here to help with Charlie, and whatever else you need."   
"Thanks Mom." Ashley said resting on her shoulder. She was quiet for a moment before speaking up again.   
"We should go see Jess's parents at some point."   
"I spoke to Evelyn this morning." Madelyn said.   
"Yeah, How's she holding up?" Ashley asked knowing probably not good.  
"She's heartbroken. She said Ed hasn't spoken all morning, and neither one of them could sleep last night."   
"I know the feeling." Ashley nodded.  
Charlie is in his swing starting to fuss, and Madelyn goes to take him out. She walks back to the couch with him, and Ashley reaches out to hold her son. She takes him in close to her chest, kissing the top of his head, and just sat quietly holding onto the only part of Jessica she has left. Ashley thought about her little boy, and how no matter what she always wants to see him happy. She promised herself that she would always be there for him to guide him, to show up to every sports practice, to be understanding even when he messes up, and to support the dreams he will have someday. Ashley was scared about having to do this alone, but knew she had to find a way for Charlie. She continued to hold him while Madelyn cleaned up the dishes, and soon there was a knock at the door. Madelyn answered seeing Ashley's friends here, and let them in. Ashley placed Charlie back in his crib, and went to greet them.   
"Hey." Beca said wrapping her arms around Ashley. "I'm so sorry."   
Aubrey, Stacie, and CR all hugged their grieving friend, offering their condolences. The group sat on the couch around Ashley with Beca taking her hand in an effort to comfort her.   
"We came to see how you're doing." Beca said.  
"I still can't believe this is real." Ashley told them. 

She starts to cry a little while Stacie rubs her shoulder. The other girls felt like crying too, but wanted to stay strong for Ashley. Jessica was a friend to all of them, and they too were shocked when hearing what happened. This poor girl wasn't even thirty, and already her life was over. The girls thought all day about what Ashley must be going through, and also what Jessica's parents must be going through. Nobody deserves to lose anyone they love, especially a parent who has lost their child. Right now their fellow Bella was truly in need of support, and the girls were going to do whatever they could for Ashley. When they said 'Bellas for life.' they really meant it. 

"I don't know what I'm gonna do now on my own." Ashley cried, and Stacie turned Ashley to face her.   
"Hey Sweetie look at me, okay. You're not alone. You've got your mom, you've got all of us. We're all here for you no matter what. I promise." Stacie said matter of factly, and the rest of them nodded.   
Ashley nodded wiping her tears while her friends hugged her. Ashley was feeling really broken down right now, but also grateful to have these girls by her side. She knew they meant what they said about being their for her, and she knows she would do the same for them. The girls visited with Ashley for a little while longer before she told her friends that they were going to see Jessica's parents. They all gave Ashley one last hug before leaving her with her mom. 

"I'll let you guys know when we know what's going on with the funeral." Ashley told Beca.   
"Okay. Well if you need anything, please call us. Even if it's the middle of the night, and you just want to talk, please don't be afraid to call us." Beca said, and Aubrey nodded.   
"Okay." Ashley nodded. "Thank you so much."   
Beca and Aubrey both hug her.   
"We love you." Beca said. 

It was nice for Ashley to see her friends, and know they were looking out for her, which made this time a little less tough. 

This is probably the first visit to Jessica's parent's house that Ashley wasn't looking forward to, but she did need to see them on a day like today. Madelyn and Ashley gathered in the car with Charlie to go offer their support to Ed and Evelyn. Ashley has always gotten along with her wife's parents even from the time she and Jessica first met, and the couple knew just how much Ashley loved their daughter. For the whole ride over there, Ashley sat starting out the window wondering what she was going to say to them. No matter what words came to her, nothing seemed right. This wasn't an 'It's gonna be okay.' situation. After all, how could it be? There was only one woman in the world Ashley loved more than anything, and now she's gone. She honestly didn't know if she'd ever be okay again. They pulled up to the house while Ashley shut her eyes taking a deep breath. She didn't know if she could bare to see how heartbroken her Mother and Father-in-law were, but she knew she had to be strong for them. Plenty of people have been here for Ashley thus far, and now Ashley needed to be there for Ed and Evelyn. Madelyn got Charlie out of the backseat while she and Ashley went up, and knocked on the door. It was Ed who answered, and let them in while he and Ashley embraced not saying a word. Ed Smith was a man who always processed things quietly; it was just his way. Right now he couldn't make sense of this situation or how and why it happened. He greeted Madelyn and the baby while Evelyn came up to Ashley wrapping her in a hug. 

"I'm so sorry." Ashley told Evelyn.   
"I'm glad you're here, Sweetie." Evelyn cried. 

Hearing the pain in Evelyn's voice only made Ashley cry more. The two cried in each others arms holding on tightly. The tears couldn't be held back, and it wasn't worth trying anymore. They all knew this was the worst nightmare that could have been imagined, and the only thing left to do was let out the pain they were feeling. Soon all of them made their way inside, the ladies sat on the couch while Ed sat in the chair holding his grandson. He looked down at this little boy with Jessica's eyes staring back at him. Ed has lost his daughter, yet through Charlie there was a part of her still with them. If he could just stare into Charlie's eyes forever, maybe he wouldn't have to say goodbye. Madelyn and Ashley sat on either side of Evelyn, all of them holding hands. 

"Thank you for coming over." Evelyn told Ashley who nodded wiping away her tears.   
"Of course." Ashley said.   
"She's a good one, this one." Evelyn told Madelyn. "It always made me feel good to see how happy Jessie was."   
Ashley smiled through her tears while listening to her Mother-in-law's praise.  
"Jessica was a good girl." Madelyn said. "We loved her very much.   
"I know you did." Evelyn cried hugging Madelyn. "She was very lucky to have you."

The family sat for awhile just wanting to be there to support each other. They talked about Jessica, and all they loved about her along with what they were going to miss. Then they talked more about the baby, how much he's grown, how he's been sleeping through the night, and mostly focusing on him to mask the pain. They didn't want to figure out the funeral right now. At this moment it was important to be around family, and try to face this tragedy together. 

Back at Stacie and CR's place they've arrived home, Stacie thanked her mom for coming to stay with the kids, and Beca and Aubrey took Sophia home. What happened was devastating, and it hurt them to see Ashley so heartbroken. The girls were still in shock, and wished they had more they could say to Ashley. The best they could do was to continue being there for her, and help in anyway they can. Stacie sat quiet on the living room couch, while 8yr old Ahlyiah came in confused by all the commotion. 

"Mommy, why is everybody sad?" 

Stacie took a deep breath taking her daughter in her lap. She didn't know how to explain this to Ahlyiah other than to just say it. 

"Sweetie this isn't easy to say to you, but we had to go see your Aunt Ashley because something bad happened to Aunt Jessica." Stacie told her trying to hold back tears.   
"What happened?" Ahlyiah asked.   
"She...was in a car accident last night, and she died, Honey." Stacie told her wiping away tears.   
"Oh." Ahlyiah said hanging her head. "Was Aunt Ashley really sad?"   
"Yeah, she was." Stacie nodded. "...but we're all gonna be there to help her the best we can, okay." 

Ahlyiah nodded wrapping her arms around her mom, and Stacie hugged her daughter tight. She could hear the little girl start to cry, and it broke Stacie's heart even more. This was hard enough to deal with as an adult, much less expecting a child to understand. There was no good reason for something like this to happen, and the girls all hoped they could help Ashley through this. 

The day of the funeral is now here, and many of Jessica's friends and family were gathered at the funeral home to pay their respects. The rest of the Bellas have heard what happened, and they were all devastated. Through their years at Barden and the USO Tour, this group of girls has had many years of good and bad times, all of which has made them bond together, and become a family. Now with the loss of one of their own, there was a hole in each of their hearts that made them feel empty. They've all at some point before the funeral reached out to Ashley offering their deepest sympathies, and agreed that they would be there for her. 

Evelyn and Ed are out in the hall talking to the rest of the family who were all attempting to comfort the grieving parents. Madelyn took Charlie to feed him, while Ashley stood in a room by herself staring out the window. She is supposed to say a few words during the eulogy, but she doesn't know where to begin. Of course Ashley could think of many wonderful things to say about Jessica. Her wife has given her so much joy in their life together, and she brought joy to others as well. There are so many great moments to choose from, and Ashley feels that Jessica deserves to be remembered for the truly remarkable human being she was. She just hoped she could keep her composure. Soon Ashley hears the door open behind her, and sees Chloe enter the room who immediately envelops Ashley in a hug. 

"Thank you for being here." Ashley whispers to Chloe.   
"Of course." Chloe said kissing her friend's cheek.  
"I'm so sorry about Jessica." Chloe told Ashley, both with tears in their eyes. 

Ashley pulled back to look at her friend as she spoke to her. 

"I wanted to tell you, after our first Bellas rehearsal Jessica told me that she liked how kind and patient you were with all of us while we were still learning. I know she really appreciated it. I really want to thank you." 

Chloe smiled squeezing Ashley's hand. It meant a lot to her to know she was able to make an impact on her friends in that way, and have them appreciate her kindness and generosity.   
Soon the ladies made their way out to the rest of the funeral. Many of these people Ashley hasn't seen since their wedding. Jessica's aunts and uncles were here, her cousins, and her grandparents on her father's side. Ashley couldn't imagine that this elderly couple ever thought they'd be attending their grandchild's funeral. Also her poor parents; what must it be like to bury their only child? Many guests felt terrible for Ed and Evelyn, and hoped they'd never know that feeling.   
Ashley received many hugs from her fellow Bellas, and words of encouragement telling her that the eulogy would be great while Ashley expressed her nervousness about the whole thing.They told Ashley that she knew Jessica best, and there was no better person for the job. Ashley felt lucky that she and Jessica have made such wonderful friends who have had their backs whenever they were needed. She is grateful to have these girls here while giving probably the toughest speech of her life.   
It is time for the funeral to start, and everyone took their seats inside. Ashley sat between her mom who is holding Charlie, and Jessica's parents. While the pastor spoke, Ashley observed the room around her. There are flowers all across the front by the casket, and many pictures of Jessica displayed all of which showed her looking so happy. Jessica loved life, and loved those around her with her whole heart. Honestly these were good pictures to see that reminded Ashley of happier times. All too quickly it was time for Ashley to speak while she gathered herself, and stepped up to the podium taking a breath before she began. 

"Jessica and I were just thirteen years old when we met, and even then I knew she was somebody special. She had a kind heart, and never judged anybody, which made middle school so much better for me."   
The emotion in her voice was creeping up, but so far Ashley was doing okay, and continued on.   
"Never have I met anyone who has always been able to make me smile, even when I didn't want to, and someone who always saw challenges in life as a way to become better people. Being married to Jessica has been the greatest feeling I could imagine, because I knew I had to be doing something right if this incredible woman loved me. I feel grateful to look at our son, and feel like a part of her is still here. I Iook here at all of those who loved Jessica, and it reminds me of how special she was." 

At this point Ashley was crying along with many people in attendance. 

"I love you Jess, and I'll always miss you. We all will. Thank you." Ashley sobbed taking her seat.  
"That was beautiful." Evelyn uttered kissing Ashley's cheek. 

The speech had everyone in tears, with many members of the family thanking Ashley for her words. She spoke from her heart, and everyone could see how much Ashley truly loved Jessica. Ashley was happy to have gotten through her speech as she took little Charlie in her arms, holding him close. She didn't want to think about the pain, she just wanted to hold her little boy, and be in the moment with him.   
It is now time for everyone to make their way to the cemetery to lay Jessica to rest. Seeing the casket here ready to be put in the ground made too it real for everyone; she was really gone. As the guests each stood there with a rose, one by one they layed it over the casket. Ashley lays hers on top saying one last 'I love you.' to her wife. The casket was lowered down, and everyone returned to the house.   
Ashley sat in the living room with Charlie asleep in her arms as she quietly observed everybody throughout the house. Many of the men stood around stuffing snacks in their mouth, looking for other subjects to discuss to avoid thinking about death. Who could blame them, really? Ashley certainly didn't want to think about it. Evelyn and her sister flipped through a photo album talking about their favorite times with Jessica. Ashley kept her focus on Charlie which was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment. She cuddled him close listening to his light snoring, and thinking about how peaceful he looked. She was almost glad he was too young to understand any of this. Madelyn soon came over to check on her daughter. 

"How are you holding up, Honey?"   
"Doing my best." Ashley shrugged.   
Madelyn kissed the top of Ashley's head while sitting next to her.   
"He slept the whole time, huh?" Madelyn asked stroking Charlie's hair.   
"Yeah, pretty much since we've been home." Ashley nodded.   
Charlie has been sleeping well so far, but they've spoken too soon as he woke up, and started to fuss.   
"Here, I'll take him, and see if he needs to be changed." Madelyn said taking him into the nursery.   
Beca later came and sat with Ashley. She offered her friend a smile while Beca took her hand.   
"How are you doing?" Beca asked.   
"I miss her." Ashley quietly answered while Beca placed a hand on her shoulder.   
"It feels weird having all these people here I haven't seen in awhile. Seems like someone has to die or get married to get the family together." Ashley told her.   
"I know what you mean." Beca said. "I don't think I've seen my cousins since the oldest got married."   
"Yeah, nothing brings a family together like free hourderves, right?"   
Beca chuckled.   
"It does feel good to have all these people here, and know she was loved." Ashley said.   
"And we all loved her." Beca told her. " Jessica was one of the good ones, especially good for you."   
Ashley nodded wiping away her tears.   
"I'm glad you guys are all here. I wouldn't want to go through this day without you." 

Beca leaned over giving Ashley a hug. These girls meant so much to Ashley, and it meant a lot they were here to support her through this time. The other girls periodically came over to check on Ashley, and although some weren't sure what to say they were all very kind, and wanted to be the best friend they could to her. It made Ashley happy to see them trying their best for her.   
The day was winding down, and several of the guests were heading out all offering their condolences while wishing Ashley well. The Bellas have all offered their help cleaning, grocery shopping or just a shoulder to cry on. Madelyn is in the kitchen putting food away while Ashley is saying goodbye to her friends, and thanking them for coming. The house was soon empty leaving Ashley and Madelyn on their own again. Madelyn sits next to Ashley, the two of them are just enjoying the quiet.   
"Well Charlie is asleep, I changed him and gave him a bottle a little while ago, so he should be good for a few hours. Are you hungry at all? Can I get you something to eat?" Madelyn asked.   
"No. Thank you, I'm okay." Ashley replied."Thank you for everything, Mom."   
"You're welcome, Honey." Madelyn said hugging her tight.   
"So, are you gonna spend the night on the couch again?" Madelyn asked.   
"I think I'll sleep in my room tonight."   
"You sure you'll be okay in there?"   
"Yeah." Ashley sighed. "I think I'm ready."   
"Okay, Sweetie. Let me know if you change your mind." 

The two said goodnight, and Ashley went to her room, getting ready for bed. Once Ashley changed her clothes, she sat on her bed staring around her room. It felt so big and empty being in here by herself. Ashley can clearly remember she and Jessica always feeling a bit cramped in here. It had limited space for all their furniture, and they'd talked about somebody finding a bigger place, especially if their family continued to grow. Now without Jessica, Ashley felt alone in this big space, and would miss cuddling up with her. Ashley picked up the pillow on Jessica's side, and clutched it tight breathing in her wife's scent. She got under the covers still holding onto the pillow needing to feel close to Jessica however she could. She turned off the light burying her face in the pillow just trying to quiet her mind, and get to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Beca awoke the next morning, with Aubrey already in the kitchen making breakfast for Sophia. Everything is different for Beca being pregnant. She was never sure if or when it would happen but here she is today, ten weeks along with their second child. Every smell was different, her taste was different, yet through all of it she knew she was happy. Her life with Aubrey has been all she hoped it would be, and to bring little Sophia into the world has brought the young couple the greatest joy they'd ever thought possible. Beca couldn't wait to experience that same joy when it came time for her to give birth.   
All of this made Beca think about Ashley. Everybody that knew them, knew how truly happy Jessica and Ashley were together. They fell in love, got a home, had a beautiful baby boy together, and in one moment Ashley's whole life changed forever when that police officer knocked on her door. Beca hoped to never know what that feels like, and was determined to always let her family know how much she loved them. Soon Beca made her way downstairs where Aubrey is cooking breakfast. Beca came up from behind, wrapping her arms around Aubrey. She then layed her own arms atop of her wife's, while Beca kissed her shoulder. 

"I love you." Beca told her.   
"I love you, too."

Beca kisses Sophia on top of her head before sitting down at the breakfast bar. She is enjoying the smell of pancakes and bacon this morning, and for once the smell of food wasn't making her nauseous. 

"How are you feeling?" Aubrey asked.   
"Better these days. I'm not so sensitive to smells lately."   
"That's good, Honey. I'm glad you're doing okay." Aubrey said. 

With the positive sentiment from her wife, Beca again thought of Ashley. Her friend was feeling a great pain that may very well be with her for the rest of her life. The day of the funeral was sad, but all involved were happy to have gotten through it. Ashley gave a beautiful speech about her wife, remembering how wonderful she was. The speech was tough, but she managed to get through it without sobbing, and found the most caring and loving way to say goodbye. 

"What are you thinking about?" Beca heard from Aubrey as she was enjoying her pancakes.   
"I can't stop thinking about Ashley. Everything has happened so fast. It's crazy how your whole life can change in an instant."   
"I know. I've been thinking about her,too." Aubrey replied. 

The two would be sure to check in on their friend later today, but for right now they wanted to enjoy a nice breakfast together. 

This morning is another morning Ashley is awake, not wanting to be up yet. She is in her room alone, and like it or not, she'd have to get used to it. With the pillow from Jessica's side of the bed still in her arms, Ashley clutched it tight taking in the scent. As she opened her eyes more, Ashley stared at the picture on her nightstand. It was a picture of them by the fire on their first camping trip together. It was September at the time and starting to get chilly at night, but the two had a great time, taking nature hikes, and enjoying the outdoors. The two were happy in this picture, and it's these times Ashley wants to remember about Jessica.   
Ashley could hear her mom up with the baby, and figured she should get up and face the day. She was going to try her hardest not to focus on her pain today. Ashley could easily keep busy and get things done that needed her attention. She could keep from being sad, if she really set her mind to it.   
Meanwhile in Ed and Evelyn's home, the couple is still taking time off of work. Ed is working in the yard, while Evelyn is watching him from inside, folding laundry. Ed has been spending most of his time tinkering in the garage with his truck, working in the yard clearing out the excess brush, and working on the back deck. Evelyn knew her husband always had a hard time with heart to heart talks. She was fine with waiting him out when it came to stress at work or other goings on in their life but with the loss of their daughter, Evelyn wished her husband would talk to her. She is hurting too, and now more than ever, the two really needed each other.   
It is now 1pm, and Ashley has had a rather productive morning. She got all the laundry done and put away, the dishes were done and all the kitchen counters were clean. She managed to finally go through all the old magazines in the living room, getting rid of what wasn't needed. Although Madelyn still worried her daughter, she allowed Ashley to go through her process. At some point Ashley has moved onto organizing her own bedroom, making sure to only open her side of the closet. So far Ashley was doing well, but try as she may she couldn't avoid seeing it. Ashley stopped for a minute to look at Jessica's old Bellas uniform. She was buried with the scarf, but the rest of it was still hanging here, while Ashley stared stroking the lapels on her jacket. It was a representation of their long journey with the Bellas, and the great friends Jessica and Ashley have made. As she stood there staring at the dress, Ashley started crying again. Still she is determined not to let herself breakdown, as she wiped away her tears and continued organizing.   
Ashley left the closet and moved onto the bathroom, going through all of the extra soaps and lotions they've accumulated over the years. She has successfully become invested in that when she is startled by her phone ringing. Ashley looks at it to see Stacie calling her and answers. 

"Hello?"   
"Hey Ashley, I just wanted to call and see how you've been. Are you doing okay?"  
"Uh...yeah, sure. Just been doing some cleaning around the house today. It's been awhile since I've been able to get to it."   
"Oh that's great, Sweetie. It's good to keep busy." Stacie said.   
Stacie suspected her friend was on a cleaning spree to avoid her feelings inside, but still wanted to tread lightly, and not see Ashley get upset. Stacie kept trying to listen and be a good friend.   
"Well ya know, if you need help cleaning anything out, I can come by." Stacie offered.   
"I appreciated it, but I think I'm good here. There's not a whole lot left to do."   
"Okay then, well you know if you need anything hon, you can always call me."   
"I know." Ashley smiled. "Thank you, Stacie."   
"You're welcome, Sweetie. I'll be in touch." 

Ashley thanked her again, and the two hung up. Stacie then wandered into the living room to find her wife, talking to her about her phone call. 

"You talked to Ashley?" CR asked.   
"Yeah, I wish I knew the right thing to say to her. She sounds to sad."   
"You're doing fine, Baby." CR told Stacie, hugging her waist. 

Stacie has only been able to think of Ashley since everything happened. She hasn't stopped worrying and wanting to check in on her grieving friend. It's hard to think about losing a loved one, especially in an accident that has happened so suddenly. Stacie knew Ashley might never really get over it completely, but hopefully could find a way to move forward and live her life with her son. Soon Stacie got a phone call from Beca. 

"Hey." Stacie answered.   
"Hey Stacie, how are you doing?"   
"Worried about Ashley."   
"Yeah, me too." Beca told her. "Have you talked to her?"   
"Yeah, I just got off the phone with her. She's been cleaning the house all day." Stacie explained.   
"Definitely sounds like she's avoiding her feelings."   
"Yeah, I know. I'm just not sure if it's best to let her. Should we be encouraging her to talk to us?" Stacie asked frustrated.   
"Maybe Ashley just needs to deal with this her way for now. She knows we're here. We just need to keep being there, and keep an eye on her." Beca said.  
"Yeah, you're probably right. I just feel so terrible for her. It sucks she has to go through this."   
"I know what you mean." Beca told her. "It hurts to see her so sad." 

Both girls were at a loss for what was the right thing to do, but hoped that their support was helping Ashley. They missed their friend, Jessica and were pained by their friend's turmoil. For now they would keep close tabs on her, and be there when they were needed. 

"So, if you hear anymore from her, will you let me know?" Beca asked.   
"I will; no worries." 

The two said goodbye going about the rest of their day with Ashley still on their mind. 

Madelyn is seated in the living room chair feeding Charlie, as Ashley comes in and plops down on the couch. She huffed in exhaustion having spent the better part of the day cleaning and organizing every surface of her home. It was now 5pm, but it feels much later for both women as it has been a rough couple of days.   
As tired as she is, it did feel good for Ashley to get alot accomplished and to get all her nervous energy out. Her thoughts have been keeping her awake at night, and Ashley thought maybe if she could keep busy, occupying her mind, she wouldn't have to feel lonely and in pain. Ashley is of course grateful for the support from her friends and her mother, but Jessica always made her feel whole, and like she would never be alone. This house truly felt big and empty without her, and it hurt Ashley everyday.   
Madelyn is among many people worried about Ashley. She knew all this cleaning is so her daughter could avoid her feelings, but Madelyn thought it was best for now to let Ashley cope the best way she knew how. Madelyn has wanted to suggest Ashley see a grief counselor, but didn't know how to approach the subject. She wasn't sure Ashley would be open to it.   
"You've certainly been busy." Madelyn said and Ashley nodded.   
"Do you know what you feel like for dinner?"   
"No." Ashley answered quietly.   
"Uhm...I think there's leftover stew from last night. Do you want me to heat that up for you?"   
"Sure." Ashley nodded. 

Madelyn was ready to put Charlie to bed, but Ashley said she would take him as she cuddled him close walking in the nursery. She laid the baby boy in his crib watching him slowly drift off to sleep. This little man is the main thing keeping Ashley going. She stroked his soft blonde hair enjoying a quiet and peaceful moment with him. 

"Hey Buddy, I love you." She whispered to him. 

It's been important to Ashley , especially now to get those 'I love you's' in whenever possible, because you never know when you may never see someone again. Ashley left her baby to sleep and had dinner with her mom, where the two ate in companionable silence. There is no need to talk; for Ashley her mom being there is enough. Madelyn has been great through this whole thing, helping with the baby and being a shoulder to cry on. Soon dinner was over and being cleaned up, when Ashley wrapped her mother in a hug. 

"I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything."   
"I love you too, Sweetie." Madelyn said kissing her cheek. 

Ashley is feeling more rested after dinner, and quietly took herself to bed. 

Beca is sitting in her kitchen after returning from her ultrasound appointment. Aubrey has already left for work, while little Sophia has had her breakfast and is playing quietly in her room. So far they've been lucky with Sophia. She was born a healthy baby, and Aubrey's pregnancy wasn't too rough on her. It took some time, but they were able to get into a consistent routine with her feeding and bedtime. It wasn't without some sleepless nights, but now, Sophia is a happy little girl, who brings Aubrey and Beca so much joy. They hoped to be just as lucky the second time around. Beca is finishing her English muffin and tea, when she hears a knock at her door. She answers to see Fat Amy there and invites her in.   
"Hey Beca, how's the little bun in the oven?" Amy asks sitting at the kitchen counter.   
"Still doing good so far." Beca told her. "I had an ultrasound appointment this morning. Not much to see at ten weeks, but the doctor says everything looks good at this point. how about you? How's your show going?"   
"It's still bringing in a good crowd. I also got a part in a play with a small theatre company."   
"Oh wow, what's the show?" Beca asked.   
"It's a dance musical called 'Glitz'. I've got rehearsals and costume fittings this week, and we have our first show next Friday."   
"That's really great, Amy. I'm happy for you." 

Soon there was another knock at the door and Chloe joined them. She's been working a lot of hours at the vet clinic while going to school and is tired much of the time, but she loves her work and it's all been worth it. 

"Hey Chloe, how've you been?" Amy asked.  
"Pretty good. Glad to have the AM shift today."   
"How's your dog?" Beca asked.   
"Well aside from chewing up my bath slippers and then throwing it all up, I haven't had any other catastrophes. He seems to be adjusting just fine."   
"At least it's good practice for when you have kids." Beca laughed.   
"I hope my kid doesn't eat all my shoes."   
"Well, I don't know. Beca, has Sophia eaten any shoes yet?" Amy joked.   
"Uhm...not yet, but it's only been two years. I'll let you know." Beca said and they all laugh. 

All of them are happy about how things were going in their own lives, but of course their minds still remain on what has happened to their friends.

"So...have you heard from Ashley lately?" Chloe asked Beca.   
"Stacie talked to her the other day. I think she's just trying to cope as best she can." Beca told her.  
"I feel bad that I don't know what to say to her." Chloe said.   
"I know how you feel." Beca said and Amy nodded. 

The girls all felt bad, being at a loss for how best to comfort Ashley, and what was the right thing to say. Of course they knew nothing could be said to change the situation, and Ashley did appreciate all of their support. The good things coming to them like Fat Amy's play and Chloe's job were all great, and it made them happy, but inside the girls couldn't help but feel a little guilt for being so happy. None of them wanted Ashley to see it, and remind her of how much pain she's been in. They were all making an effort to be there for Ashley, yet the fear of showing their own happiness is still there. 

"I keep wanting to call her and check in, but I'm not sure how to do it right?" Chloe said.   
"I'm going to call her later today. I can tell her you were thinking of her if you want. That's really the best we can do is to let her know we care." Beca told her.   
"Yeah, thank you." Chloe nodded. 

The girls hung out for a bit before going home. Beca did call Ashley later that day to let her know everyone has been thinking of her. Ashley felt lucky to have her friends, and to know they wanted to check in on her to see if she was okay. She hoped someday she would be okay. Ashley sat back on the couch looking around her clean house she's spent a day and a half on. Surely she would run out of house to clean, and then what would Ashley do to occupy her mind? Try as she may, Ashley couldn't forget her love, nor did she want to. It was just so strange here without Jessica, and Ashley didn't want it to hurt so much.   
It is now after dinner, while Ashley is trying to feed Charlie and put him to bed, but is having a rough go at it. The little guy keeps crying and leaning away from his bottle. Ashley knows he's hungry, but he doesn't seem to want to be cooperative. 

"Come on, Buddy. You need to eat." Ashley prodded. 

She was trying to be patient with her baby, but she's getting frustrated. Charlie kept crying while his momma attempted to feed him. Ashley calmly bounced him and kept offering the bottle, but still nothing. Soon Madelyn came in to check on them. 

"Hey, what's the matter; he won't eat?"   
"No." Ashley huffed. "I mean...I know he's hungry, but he wont take the bottle tonight. I don't know why." 

Madelyn knelt down next to her grandson, taking the bottle hoping to lend a hand. 

"Here Sweetheart, take your bottle." 

Madelyn rubbed the bottle across Chalrie's lips, and he finally relented, and drank up his milk. She then looked up at Ashley who started to cry. All the sadness inside and all her nervous energy finally got to her, and she couldn't hold it in anymore.   
"Jess was always better at this than me. I don't know how I'm going to do this."   
"Sweetheart, you're doing fine." Madelyn told her.   
"How do I know I won't screw everything up? I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm going to figure it all out." Ashley cried. 

Madelyn stopped her, wrapping an arm around her daughter, kissing her forehead. 

"Honey listen, you don't have to figure it all out at once. You're a new mom, don't worry. All of us with kids have been there." Madelyn said touching her shoulder.   
"I know...you weren't expecting to do this on your own, but we'll get through it together Honey, I promise. Whatever you need, I'll be here." 

Ashley nodded wiping away her tears. 

"I really miss her."  
"I know you do, Sweetie." Madelyn said hugging her daughter. 

Ashley has been so thankful for her mom, and is so happy she is here. She's done so much for Ashley during this incredibly rough time, and Ashley hoped she could be half the mother Madelyn is. At some point, it will be time for Ashley to do this on her own and she hoped to do the best she can. 

Back at Stacie and CR's home, the ladies are putting the kids to bed. Bella is already asleep, and now they're working on the other two. Who would have thought the baby would be the easiest one to bed. They have been lucky so far with Bella who hasn't given them much trouble at all. As CR is making her way through the kitchen, five year old Dimitri is running through the room. CR stops the little boy, scooping him up midway. 

"Little man, why you running through my house?" CR asked and he giggled.   
"I think it's about time for you to go to bed. What do you say?"   
"Okay Momma." 

CR brings Dimitri upstairs to his room as they passed Stacie in the hallway. She gave her son kisses goodnight, while making her way to the bathroom where Ahlyiah was brushing her teeth. Ahlyiah is finishing up and smiles up at her mom to show her a pretty, clean smile.

"Are my teeth clean, Mommy?" 

"They are absolutely beautiful, my darling." Stacie told her, kissing her forehead. "Let's get to bed, little lady." 

Ahlyiah makes her way to her room, and hops into her bed, while Stacie pulls the covers over the little girl and tucks them all around her. She is met with more kisses from her mommy, while Stacie very much enjoyed this special bedtime routine with her children. They were all getting so big so fast, and it amazed Stacie that Ahlyiah was close to being as tall as her. She wanted to cherish this time tucking in her children while they were still young enough to want her to. 

"Mommy, is Aunt Ashley gonna be okay?" Ahlyiah asked.   
"I hope so, Baby." Stacie answered brushing back her daughter's hair. 

The little one couldn't help but be concerned, along with everyone else around her about Ashley's well being. Even though Ahlyiah is only eight, she is old enough to understand how devastating this is to experience. Stacie's eldest daughter has always been a kind and compassionate little girl, and she hated to see any of her friends sad. 

"I hope so too. I don't like to see her feeling bad." Ahlyiah told her.   
"Well it's a good thing she's got a friend like you, kiddo. We're all gonna do our best to make her feel better."   
Ahlyiah smiles and nods with hope that things would soon look up. Stacie gives her one final hug and kiss goodnight. 

"Goodnight, Lovebug."   
"Goodnight Mommy." 

With that Stacie turned out the light, and climbed into bed herself next to her wife. Being married with children has certainly brought many changes to her life, but all good changes. She didn't know if she was doing everything right, and surely mistakes would be made. The results so far have been wonderful, and she hoped to keep up the good work.


	4. Chapter 4

The cold water is still running in the sink as Ashley is washing her face this morning. She turns it off still holding the rag up to her face and quietly listening to the sound of her own breathing. Ashley has to go to court later today, while they try the dump truck driver involved in Jessica's accident. She didn't know what to expect, but it was important for Ashley to be there supporting Jessica's parents, while hoping for a resolution to all of this. There was no telling if any of this would make Ashley feel better, and admittedly she hated the thought of hoping for someone to go to jail. At the same time, so much has been taken from her and her family, and a part of Ashley wanted someone else to know what this feels like. She finished up in the bathroom, making wer way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, hoping at least something would get her through this day. The sooner this was over with, the better.   
All the while at Beca and Aubrey's, Beca is cuddled up on the couch with Sophia who is watching some of her favorite cartoons. Aubrey comes in the door after grocery shopping, lugging two big bags into the kitchen. Beca sees her wife struggling a bit and gets up offering to help.   
"Oh no, it's okay. I've got it." Aubrey tells her.   
"Babe, It's okay. I can help."   
"No you don't. You need to be taking it easy." Aubrey insisted.   
Beca is about a month and a half along with her pregnancy, and is already starting to show a little. Aubrey has been her main support system through this time, always taking care of her, making Beca breakfast, and doing all the cleaning. Aubrey was going to support Beca the same way Beca supported her when pregnant with Sophia. Aubrey loving laid her hands on Beca's pregnant belly, cradling their child within.

"How's our little one in there?" Aubrey asked.   
"Getting bigger. Sophia is so excited to be a big sister; it's all she's been talking about."   
"Yeah, I think she'll be good at it." Aubrey laughed.   
They were all excited to expand their family. Aubrey and Beca have made a good team both with each other and as parents. When they had Sophia, neither of them were sure they knew what they were doing or if they were doing it right. Luckily there has been plenty of support around them, and being told what is important is to love their little girl and the rest would come to them with practice. Now with another little one on the way, the two ladies felt like old pros. 

At the courthouse, the dump truck driver, 32 yr old Harrison Davis is out in the hallway waiting to go before the judge and accept whatever fate may come to him. He paced back and forth smoothing out the lapels of this suit jacket and nervously wringing his hands. He knew there was no way to undo what he's done and no way to make it better. He didn't expect to be shown a lot of mercy, and wasn't sure he deserved any. Yet Harrison figured the best he could do was face the consequences and serve whatever time is given to him. Soon Harrison's lawyer came out and motioned to him.   
"They're ready for us."   
With that the two walked in and the case was ready to commence.   
Beca and Aubrey gathered Sophia in the car, and are going to see Ashley to check up on her. They've called her a few times to see how she's doing, and for the most part Ashley assured them that even though she's sad, she is doing okay. Even knowing her friends were there to talk to, Ashley would always say she is fine and not to worry. Still Beca and Aubrey wanted to go see Ashley for themselves and offer her their company. The ladies came up to the house with Sophia in tow knocking on the door only to be met with a very worried Madelyn and no Ashley in sight.   
"Oh girls, I'm so glad you're here. Have you heard from Ashley?" Madelyn asked frantically.   
"No, we were just coming to see her." Aubrey told her."Is everything okay?"   
"She was supposed to be back from court an hour ago. I've tried calling her and she's not picking up her phone."   
"What happened with the court case?" Beca asked.   
"Evelyn told me that the dump truck driver had been over run 18 hours, and since he wasn't drinking and had no prior arrests, that the judge gave him eight months in jail." Madelyn explained and the girls were shocked.   
"Are you kidding me?" Beca exclaimed. "He kills someone but only gets eight months?"   
"Yeah and he was fired from his company, like that's supposed to make it better."   
"Unbelievable." Beca said shaking her head.   
"Now I can't get a hold of Ashley, and I have no idea where she is." Madelyn said starting to cry.   
"Maybe we can locate her with 'Find my iphone'." Aubrey said going over to Ashley's laptop. 

Aubrey entered the ID needed and started her search. It took a few minutes but soon they had her location, and Beca went with Madelyn to find Ashley while Aubrey stayed behind with the kids. Beca and Madelyn were equally worried about Ashley, and what may be going on with her. As they entered the residential neighborhood, Beca had a feeling she knew where they might find her. Her suspicions were confirmed when they reached the house on the map, and found a cop parked on the street where Ashley is smashing up the car in the driveway. Ashley managed to look up where Harrison Davis lived, and decided to take out her anger on his car with a tire iron. Amongst the commotion, the neighbors called the police, but not before Ashley cracked up the windshield and smashed out both headlights. Beca and Madelyn both hopped out of the car with Beca hoping to try and diffuse the situation.   
"Officer please! She's going through a rough time; she's just lost her wife. Please let me talk to her." Beca pleaded and the officer nodded.   
"Ashley, I heard what happened! Come on, you don't have to do this; he's not worth it!"   
"Eight months, do you believe it! He took my wife away from me and the bastard only gets eight months!" Ashley cried.   
"I know Ashley... it really sucks, but you don't want to get yourself in trouble. Come on, we can talk about this." Beca said trying to persuade her.   
"So what, he goes to jail and gets fired?! I'll never see Jessica again; he deserves this!"   
"He does, Hon. He absolutely does."Beca said stepping closer to her. "But Sweetie, think of Charlie. He needs you at home with him." Beca said and Ashley nodded while crying.   
"Come on, Sweetie. Let me take you home."   
Ashley dropped the tire iron crying into her hands.   
"I miss her so much." Ashley sobbed.   
"I know Hon, I'm so sorry." Beca said hugging her tight.   
Everyone is glad to have kept this situation from escalating further while still feeling terrible for Ashley. Of course no sentence would bring Jessica back, but it felt like the dump truck driver got off a little too easy. They were just happy to have found Ashley and she is okay.   
"She's not under arrest; is she?" Madelyn asked the officer. 

"No." the officer sighed. "...but she will be responsible for the damage to the homeowner's car."  
"That's fine." Beca said and Ashley nodded.   
Having witnessed all of this, the officer didn't have the heart to arrest Ashley, figuring she's been through enough already. Ashley came up to her mom who wrapped her in a hug. Madelyn kissed Ashley, letting her know how sorry she was and that she loved her. With everything calmed down, everyone got in the car and took Ashley home. After Beca and Aubrey returned home, they heated up chicken nuggets for Sophia and settled her in the kitchen. Beca came up to Aubrey, wrapping both arms around her.   
"Promise you'll never leave me." Beca whispered into Aubrey's neck.   
"What? Baby, I'm not going anywhere."   
"Promise me, please." Beca pleaded.   
"I promise, Sweetie. I'll always be with you."   
All of this has given everyone a lot of time to think about appreciating the ones you love in your life, holding onto them and never letting go. Aubrey and Beca have been the best thing to come into each other's lives along with Sophia, who has joined them forever and made them a family. They would make sure never to miss a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss or an 'I love you'.  
This court case has gotten everybody down, but in a way there was relief that it was over; at least Evelyn felt that way. She is making tea in the kitchen while Ed wanted to focus on some yard work and start tearing apart the deck out back that has been destroyed by termites. He made steady work of pulling out each board. Some of them came out more easily than others, with much of the wood having rotted and suffered significant termite damage. Halfway through, Ed stopped and could see some termites still crawling around. It's amazing how such small creatures could destroy so much. They eat away at all that's surrounding you, and sometimes you don't realize it until it's too late. Ed thought about all this while starting at these creatures eating away at his home, making him angry enough to start chopping and hacking away with the crowbar. He's held so much in that he's had to release it somewhere. It was enough to get Evelyn's attention in the house who came out back to see what was happening.   
"Ed! Ed what are you doing; what is going on?!"  
Ed just kept chopping until finally throwing the crowbar across the yard.   
"Why are they here, Evelyn? Why are these damn termites still here, and my baby girl is gone?!" Ed cried before collapsing on the steps in tears.   
Evelyn came hugging Ed around the neck, crying right along with him. It wasn't right, and this wasn't the natural order of things. Parents aren't supposed to bury their children, not ever. It pained Evelyn to see her husband, always the strong, loving, and caring provider to their family, broken down crying like this.Still in a way she was relieved to see him let this go, and finally let himself feel something. Losing Jessica will always hurt, and they'll always think of her. Thinking of the good times and how sweet and wonderful she was is what is keeping her parents going. She will always live through Charlie, and they wanted to hold him close while letting him know how special his mother was. 

One month has passed since the Jessica's accident and so much has happened. Ashley has gone through many crazy emotions, between the shock of the event, to utter pain and depression, and wanting to forget the whole thing happened. The sentencing of the dump truck driver still weighed heavy on Ashley's mind. Even though the accident did cost him his job, It wasn't fair that he would only lose a few months at home, while Ashley will never see her wife again. It has been alot for Ashley to think about, and it's beginning to overwhelm her. Charlie has been put to bed, and Madelyn comes out to the backyard swing to find Ashley sitting alone.   
"You doing okay, honey?" Madelyn asked.   
" It's crazy to think a month has gone by already. Lately I feel like time has stopped in this house." Ashley said laying on her mother's shoulders.   
"I know; It's been a hard time for you." Madelyn said trying to comfort her daughter. "I know the court case didn't go how you thought it would, but at least he was punished."  
"Sure." Ashley nodded while still feeling defeated. "He's out of work now and he'll spend the next eight months in jail, but hey at least he gets to see his wife again."   
Madelyn rubbed Ashley's back seeing how hopeless her daughter is feeling. She has been doing everything in her power to be everything Ashley needs her to be right now. Yet she is still worried whether it is all enough.   
"I'm so glad I have Charlie." Ashley said starting to cry. "He's been what's really keeping me going these days. If I didn't have my baby I...I don't know." 

Ashley buried her head in her hands while she cried. Madelyn brought her in close rocking back and forth. She understood exactly why Ashley is feeling this way, and she didn't blame her. It just pained her to see Ashley in such despair. 

"Honey, have you considered maybe seeing a grief counselor? I think it might help." "I don't know, Mom. I wouldn't know how to talk about this with a stranger. Besides I have you and my friends here for me." Ashley explained.   
"Yeah Honey, but it could help to talk to someone who could give you advice. They also have support groups with other people who know what this is like." 

"I'll think about it." Ashley sighed. 

Madelyn is relieved that Ashley is at least open to the idea. She would do anything to find a way to give her daughter hope that there might be a future where she could be happy again. Even though Jessica is gone, she would never be forgotten. Ashley could still keep her close to her heart while attempting to move forward. As Ashley's crying subsided, her mother wiped her tears while she took a moment to collect herself.  
"She may be gone, but she'll always be right here." Madelyn said placing a hand on Ashley's chest.   
"Yeah." Ashley agreed slowly starting to smile.   
"Come on, let's go back inside, put this horrible day behind us, and pop in a movie." Madelyn said as Ashley nodded, and the two went back in the house.


	5. Chapter 5

It's been a few months since Ashley has been at home, and Charlie is now ten months old. She's happy to have had this time with her son, even if it was under the worst of circumstances. Charlie has gotten much bigger, and is crawling around looking for whatever he can get into. He doesn't quite have the hang of walking, but he's working on it. Through every milestone Charlie experiences, and everyday he grows bigger, Ashley kept thinking about how Jessica should be here for this. The two have always dreamed of building a life together and starting a family, watching it grow, and reflect all they have to be proud of in their lives. Even though her love was gone, Ashley would always have a piece of Jessica with her through their son, and she would always cherish him.   
In the interest of moving forward, Ashley thought about it for awhile, and has decided it's about time for her to return to work as she discusses it with her mother.  
"Ya know you don't have to go back yet if you don't want to. It's okay if you're not ready." Madelyn told her.   
"I need to." Ashley said. "It'll be good to get back to normal. At home I have too much time to think."   
"If you think you're ready, then I trust you." Madelyn told Ashley, holding onto her wrist.   
"Just don't be afraid to tell someone if you need a break, okay."   
"I know, Mom." Ashley smiled. 

Suddenly there is a knock at their door and Ashley went to answer it, assuming it was another friend checking in on her as per usual these days. Yet when she opened the door to greet her visitor, the man standing there took Ashley completely by surprise. 

"Hi." Ashley said still in shock.  
"Hey Kiddo." 

The man before her is her dad Ron, whom she hasn't seen in many years. He's grown a beard since Ashley last saw him, and stood there in jeans and a worn leather jacket. Neither of them knew what to say to the other. Ron knew he hasn't been a presence in Ashley's life nor was he there when he needed to be, and there was nothing that could be said to change that, but Ron still hoped Ashley would want to see him. 

"Is it alright if I come in?" Ron asked his daughter.   
"Uhm...yeah, sure." Ashley said while he stepped inside. 

Ashley had no idea what to think about this or what to say to him. Perhaps he had heard about their situation, but was that all Ron was here for? After not seeing the man for so long, and now here he is out of the blue, did he want something from them? The energy in the room was most certainly awkward, and it was quiet until Ron spoke up. 

"I've been to town for a few days, and I ran into your Aunt Jean in the grocery store. When I asked how you were she told me about your wife's accident. I wanted to come by to check in with you, and offer my condolences. I'm really sorry to hear about what happened."   
"Thank you." Ashley quietly nodded, taking in her father's words.   
She felt conflicted between wanting to ask him how he's been and wanting to curse him for leaving. Ashley wondered for a long time what it would be like to see her father again, and has imagined many different scenarios as to how it would go down. At this point in her life, none of the anger mattered anymore. She's lost so much already, and there was no harm in inviting Ron in to at least talk. 

"Do you want some coffee?" Ashley asked him.  
"Yes, thank you." Ron nodded.  
Ron sat at the table while Ashley poured coffee. He nodded to Madelyn.   
"Madelyn, hi." Ron said.  
"Ron." Madelyn replied.   
She was watching carefully and wasn't quite ready to trust him.   
"So what brings you back around here?" Ashley asked him.   
"Well I'd been working for a shipping company in Philadelphia for a long time until several of us got laid off. I drove a box truck for awhile after that until I fell and broke my ankle. Since then I've been trying to get workman's compensation. Right now I'm staying with my brother until I get back of my feet. "   
"Okay." Ashley nodded. "So what brings you here all of the sudden? It's been about two years."   
"I know, I - I'm sorry." Ron said embarrassed. "I wanted to, but I was afraid to let you see me like this, and the longer I waited the harder it got. I know that's not a good excuse, and I'm sorry for staying away so long."   
Ashley nodded just accepting that the situation is what it is. Madelyn remained vigilant, wanting to protect her daughter, but so far it seemed to be going as well as could be expected.  
"Listen Ashley, I know nothing can make up for all I've missed over the years, but I really am sorry. I want to try and start new and be around as much as I can."   
His daughter gave him a half smile.   
"I wouldn't mind that."   
It wasn't anything major, but it was a step in the right direction, and Ron was pleased with the results. Ashley and Ron finished a cup of coffee before making their way to the door to say goodbye. Madelyn heard Charlie awake, and went to check in on him.   
"Well, it was good to see you. I'm glad you stopped by." Ashley said.   
" It was good to see you too. Thanks for letting me in to talk."   
Madelyn is observing the two from the nursery, holding Charlie in her arms. Ron couldn't help but smile seeing his grandson for the first time.   
"So this is Charlie."   
"Yup." Ashley nodded.  
"Hey Buddy." Ron waved and Charlie smiled.   
"He's beautiful." Ron said.   
"Thanks." Ashley smiled.   
"I hope I can come by more often, and get to know him."   
"I'd be okay with that." Ashley smiled.   
The two shared a small hug. It was awkward, but also nice. Ashley's visit with her father went better than expected, and she hoped he meant what he said about coming around more often. Madelyn came up to Ashley after Ron left.   
"Are you doing okay?"   
"Yeah." Ashley nodded. "I think so."   
Madelyn hugged Ashley while her daughter leaned into her.  
"I'm proud of you; you did good."   
"Thanks Mom."   
Ashley took the baby and cuddled him on the couch just wanting to be with him before going to work tomorrow. She's ready to try normal, and hoped to be able to pull it off. 

Beca and Aubrey are leaving the OBGYN's office after an appointment they've been waiting for. Beca is five months along, and the doctor is able to determine the sex of Beca's baby. Beca is sitting in the passanger's seat staring at the sonogram photo of their baby girl. She held onto her baby bump looking at the photo, thinking about how their little baby wasn't even born yet, and Beca is already in love with her. She is absolutely perfect. Even in that black and white photo, she is beautiful. Beca could already see how much the baby was looking like her. Being pregnant has brought out a lot of emotion in Beca that she wasn't used to. She was never sentimental, at least outwardly, and even when she was she'd never admit it. Beca completely understood what it was like when Aubrey was pregnant with Sophia, as well as how it must have been for Beca's own mother to be pregnant with her. She was now part of the life cycle about to welcome a new baby into the world herself. Aubrey is equally excited on the drive home and couldn't wait to share the news. 

"I can't wait to tell Sophia." Aubrey said. "She'll be so excited to have a little sister."   
"Yeah, It's great." Beca said with a half hearted smile.  
Beca couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Of course she was happy about their daughter, but she couldn't help but feel bad about the hard time their friend was having.   
"You okay? I thought you'd be happy." Aubrey asked her.   
"I am, Honey. I'm so happy. I was just thinking about stuff." Beca told her.   
"Like what?"  
"Like Ashley." Beca lamented. "I mean I want to tell our parents and Sophia. I also want to tell our friends, including Ashley...I just feel bad being so happy after everything she's been going through."   
"Beca it's okay to be happy." Aubrey said taking her wife's hand.   
"Look nothing can change what happened to Jessica, and we'll all miss her; nobody more than Ashley. I'm sure she'll be happy for us. You've been a good friend to her through all of this, and I think more than anything, she'd want to hear something good."   
"Maybe you're right." Beca grinned.   
With that the two made their way to Beca's dad's house to pick up Sophia. They pulled in the driveway, came in the door and were immediately met by their little girl. Aubrey scooped her up while Sophia hugged her mom around her neck.   
"Hey Baby. Did you have fun with Pop Pop?" Aubrey asked.   
"Yup." The two year old said excitedly.   
Beca's father, Dave soon followed her out.   
"Hey girls, how was the doctor's appointment?"   
"It was good. Everything is going well." Beca told him.   
"So, did you find out?" Dave asked.   
"We did." Beca said turning to face Sophia. "Guess what, Miss Sophia? You're gonna have a little sister."   
"Yeay!" Sophia cheered.   
"Wow, so it's a girl?" Dave asked.   
"Yeah, here she is." Beca said handing him the sonogram photo.   
Dave was so happy and proud to see the first photo of his newest grandchild. Everyone was excited for her arrival, and couldn't wait to meet her.   
"She's beautiful." Dave said and Beca nodded.   
"Are you excited?" Dave asked.   
"Yeah, and a little nervous." Beca told him.   
"You'll do great, Honey. I know you will."   
"You will." Aubrey reaffirmed. "You've done great already." She told her as Sophia hugged Beca. 

Beca loved her family, and could see she was in fact doing well. Although she still felt bad for Ashley, Beca has heard she is returning to work, and it seemed a step in the right direction for her. That's all any of them could do was take it one day at a time, and try to move forward. As they were about to welcome their second child into the world, Aubrey and Beca may not have all the answers, but they knew they loved each other and their kids. They couldn't wait to see their little Sophia as a big sister. 

Ashley has been back to work for a week now with Evelyn babysiting during the day, and it's been going well so far. She's been getting through her days smoothly, and it seems everything is getting back into the swing of things; at least as much as they could be. She's now done with work on a Friday and is heading over to pick up Charlie. Even now it still feels different to go to Jessica's parent's house without her here. It was like everyone was in this alternate universe that they weren't supposed to be in, where two parents lost their sweet, beautiful girl when they were prepared to go first. Nobody was prepared for this, and they still feel blindsided by it. Ed and Evelyn have been through difficult job changes, where Ed wasn't sure if his new job at the time was going to work out and keep them afloat. They went through a lot to save up and buy their first home, but they managed to do it. Losing Jessica would by far be the toughest thing they will ever go through. All they had left now was each other to hold onto, and the good memories they had with Jessica. Ashley made her way up to the door, opened it and saw her little boy smile to greet her. Evelyn scooped up Charlie, and they both embraced Ashley.   
"Hey Sweetie, how'd it go at work today?" Evelyn asked.   
"It was pretty good. How'd everything go here?"   
"Oh we had fun. Charlie and I spent the morning at the park. He got to feed the ducks."   
"That sounds like fun. Did you have a good day with Grammy?" Ashley asked Charlie while he smiled.   
Ashley noticed a photo album on the coffee table, and started to flip through it. Evelyn needed to see those old photos of Jessica as a kid, and remember the better times with her, watching her grow up.   
"Oh, that one was when Jessica was a daisy for her third grade play. I spent most of the night before sewing the extra leaves on her costume." Evelyn explained.   
They continued to look through more photos. Some of her first birthday party, and others of her first day at kindergarten. She looked so happy in every picture, and it reminded them of how much Jessica enjoyed life. It's what Ashley always loved about her wife. Her smile was infectious and would have everyone else around her smiling. The two ladies looked through more photos of Jessica when she would play dress up. She always liked to sing and dance around the house, and was always a happy kid.   
"She was so sweet." Evelyn said while holding Charlie. "Did Jessica ever tell you she wanted to be in 'The Sound of Music' ?"  
"Yeah, she did." Ashley nodded.  
"It always made me happy to see her perform with the rest of the Bellas. She was lucky to find all of you. I know she really loved it."   
"And we loved her." Ashley said.  
Evelyn pulled Charlie close, kissing his cheek. His eyes and his smile reminded her of her daughter. He's been a happy little kid just like his mother was, lucky to have plenty of people around who loved him. It made Evelyn proud to have raised a good girl who has made many good friends, and has given her this beautiful grandson.   
"I want you to know that I am so thankful to have met Jessica, and to have had her in my life. She was a good mom and a wonderful woman. I know she got a lot of that from you." Ashley told Evelyn.   
"Thank you, Honey." Evelyn said with a few tears in her eyes.  
Ashley blinked away a few tears, taking a few deep breaths .  
"I miss her." Ashley whispered.   
"I know you do, Sweetie. I miss her too." Evelyn said wrapping an arm around her.   
Ashley pulled Charlie on her lap hugging her tight. The smell of his hair made her feel calm. She wanted him to continue feeling happy to feel loved always. So far they appear to be doing a good job of that. Charlie still has one Mom, his Grandparents, and lots of Aunties to care for him and make sure he remembers Jessica and how much she loved him.   
"Thank you for loving her and making her happy."Evelyn said.   
"You're welcome."   
"So...do you want to stay for lunch?"   
"Sure." Ashley replied.   
This family is going to be okay in time. They all had each other, and there would always be love in their home. 

Ashley is home after work. She just fed Charlie and has put him down for a nap while her mother is making lunch. She's midway through her sandwich when there is a knock at her door.   
"Hey, how are you?" Ashley says greeting Stacie with a hug.  
"Doing good, how are you?" Stacie replied. 

The two of them went into the living room and sat on the couch to talk. It is good to see Stacie, and to see her friends care so much for her and want to check in on her. Ashley has been back to work for awhile now and has been working on finding her normal routine again. 

"So you look good. How's it been being back to work?" Stacie asked.   
"It's been okay. Focusing on work has been helping me."  
"That's good, Ash. I'm really happy for you." Stacie said laying a hand on her friend's arm. 

Even though Ashley seemed to be doing okay, Stacie could see there is still sadness in her eyes. Of course nobody expected Ashley to just get over this and move on. Stacie is glad to see Ashley trying, but also can see that there is a lot of pain she is holding back. Madelyn is cleaning up the kitchen while quietly observing them. It makes her feel better that Ashley has so many people to talk to, and that her experience with the Bellas had built a close group of friends around her. 

"So have you been getting out of the house lately besides going to work?" Stacie asked.  
"Not really. I've been busy taking care of Charlie, and getting things done around here."   
"You wanna get out of here for awhile; a little change of scenery?" Stacie asked her. 

Ashley looks back at her mom a little unsure while her mom mouths 'Go', and with a nod she agrees.   
"Sure, it couldn't hurt." 

With that they both get in Stacie's car, and the two drive out of town a bit just to get away from everything familiar, and all the craziness that has been going on. Ashley loses herself in the drive and just stares out the window. Other than going to work, this is the first time in a long while Ashley has gone anywhere without the baby, and it was nice to take some time for herself after all that has happened. Eventually they stop and pull in near a park to just talk. Stacie wanted Ashley to know that here she was free to express whatever was on her mind, and she didn't have to worry about putting on a brave face. 

"So, you've been really quiet the whole ride up here." Stacie said. " Anything you wanna talk about?" 

Ashley just shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know what to say or how to explain what was going on in her head. 

"You know you can tell me anything you're feeling." Stacie told her. With a sigh, Ashley spoke up.   
"I...I just wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't miss Jessica like crazy...and then I feel guilty for feeling that way." Ashley explained wiping away tears.   
"I don't want to forget her; I love her. I just don't want to hurt anymore."   
"Sweetie, you don't have to be in a hurry to move on." Stacie told Ashley, while giving her a hug. "You're doing the best you can, and that's all you can do." 

Ashley nods. She knew what Ashley said was true. She just didn't know how to get to the next step.  
"Look, none of the other girls know about this except for Cynthia, but I do know what it's like to lose someone you love." Stacie told Ashley.   
"Really?"  
"Yeah, it was a long time ago, when I was in middle school." Stacie explained. "There was a girl I went to school with who became my best friend, and eventually we fell in love. We hadn't told anyone about us...we were afraid to. When her parents found out about us we weren't allowed to keep seeing each other, and at the time I didn't know that it would be the last time I'd ever see her." Stacie took a deep breath before continuing. "I found out from a friend later that she had died."   
"What happened to her?" Ashley asked.   
"I don't want to talk about it." Stacie said shaking her head.   
"I'm sorry." Ashley told Stacie. 

Ashley knew this had to be an incredibly hard story for Stacie to share, but she appreciated that she did. She could tell this was still with Stacie, but somehow she is still standing and has an amazing life of her own now. It gave her a little bit of hope. 

"I'm glad I have Cynthia now. I didn't think I could love someone else this much, but I don't know where I'd be without her now." Stacie said.   
"I don't know if I could ever feel that way about anyone else. Jess was and still is the love of my life. I couldn' t see myself getting there."   
"Well if that doesn't happen for you, that's okay, too. Even if you don't end up sharing your life with someone else, there is a light at the end of the tunnel." Stacie told her and Ashley nodded.   
"Thanks again for this, Stacie." Ashley said with a hug.   
"No problem." 

The whole ride back to her house, Ashley let what Stacie told her sink in. It meant a lot to Ashley that Stacie took this time to help her through this, and to share her painful past. As hard as her teen years must have been, somehow Stacie got through it unscathed, and has a beautiful family with Cynthia -Rose. If Stacie could get through her loss, certainly Ashley could too.   
When Ashley got home, everyone was asleep and she quietly went into her room, sitting on her bed. She picked up the photo of her and Jessica on the nightstand staring at it. She thought about how full of life Jessica was and how nothing would change how much Ashley loved her. Even years down the road as their son is growing up and people come and go in their lives, Ashley will always remember the love she's always had for Jessica, and how it made her feel good. No matter what has happened, Ashley will never be sorry she's had this wonderful woman in her life.


	6. Chapter 6

Ashley makes her way into a group counseling session after discussing it with her mother, and deciding to give it a try. She poked her head in the room, and it was exactly as she imagined. There was a circle of chairs in the middle of the room. Some of the people were sitting down, some were standing around with their coffee in hand while waiting for the session to start. Immediately Ashley moved towards the table of coffee and doughnuts, making herself a cup. She wasn't sure what would come out of today's session, but she tried to remain optimistic. Maybe this would help and maybe it won't, but at least Ashley was trying and it's a step in the right direction. The groups therapist noticed Ashley, and came over to introduce herself. 

"You must be new, hi I'm Dr. Freeman." she said shaking Ashley's hand.   
"Hi, I'm Ashley."   
"Ashley welcome. Now since this is your first day, you can share as much as you feel comfortable or of course feel free to just listen."   
"Okay, sounds great."   
"Alright everyone, are we ready to begin?" Dr. Freeman called out, and everyone took their seats.   
There were many different people there. Men, women, young, old, and all with their own story. A man in his seventies named Arthur lost his wife, Mae to cancer a year ago. They've been married for fifty-two years, and he's expressed feeling alone without her. Another man lost his teenage son in a car accident. One woman lost her mom, who passed away at eighty-two in a nursing home. At the moment, the group is listening to Janet, a woman who lost her husband in 9/11.   
"I can't believe it's been eighteen years already. Somedays it feels like it just happened. I think about Sam a lot when things are stressful or when I'm alone at night. He was always good at getting me through those times and it's when I miss him the most."   
Those words definitely rang true with Ashley. She could relate to missing her wife during tough times. More than anything Ashley hated feeling alone, especially at night when she wanted to roll over and hold Jessica in her arms, but she couldn't. Many of these people felt the same way, and it comforted Ashley to know she wasn't alone. This group of people seemed really nice. She only wished they could have met under happier circumstances. As everyone was going around telling their stories, the group was listening to Arthur. 

"My Mae was sick for a long time...and I knew it was coming, but when she finally passed it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Even without the cancer, at this age you try to prepare yourself for the possibility that something might happen to one of you. Now that something has happened, it still feels like I got the wind knocked out of me."   
Ashley silently wiped away tears listening to a fellow widow. She felt for Arthur listening to the pain inside of him losing his life partner. It seems no matter how hard you try to be prepared, you're never ready to lose someone you love. It's been an emotional morning thus far with everyone sharing their loss. Ashley mostly shared the basics, that Jessica died in a car accident and that they had a baby boy she is now raising alone. Soon the session was over and Ashley is out in the hall, talking more to Janet.   
"Hey there, Kiddo."   
"Hi Janet, right?"   
"Yeah hi, it's nice to meet you."   
"Nice to meet you too." Ashley said. "Uhm...I'm sorry about your husband. I remember how horrible that day was. I imagine it was much harder for you...sorry, I don't really know how to do this."   
"It's okay, Sweetie. It takes practice for all of us." Janet said touching her arm.   
"So...does this sinking, hollow feeling ever get easier?" Ashley asked.  
"I think at some point it gets easier to fake it." Janet said and both women chuckled.   
"I don't think you ever stop missing them. It sounds cliche, but the only thing that seems to help is time. Each day it becomes easier to get back to normal, maybe you force yourself for your own sanity."   
"Yeah, there's definitely been a lot of that going on." Ashley said. "Then I end up feeling guilty. like if I go a moment without thinking about her or if I've had a good day it's like I've forgotten about her."   
"Oh never, Sweetie." Janet told her placing a hand on her shoulder. "She'll be with you no matter what. Being happy is what they'd want."   
It's the main thing Ashley has been telling herself, and what others have been telling her. Of course she knew it was true. Jessica would want nothing more than for Ashley to be as happy as she could be, even if she wasn't there.   
"You'll do fine."   
"Thank you." Ashley nodded. "I'm really glad I came today."   
"You think you'll come back?"   
"Yeah, probably. I'll see you around, Janet."   
"Bye, bye. Nice again to meet you."   
Ashley nodded before parting ways. She was satisfied over all with how this counseling session worked out. The day was emotional, but really comforting. It was nice to hear from others who have the same feelings she is having, and nice for someone to give her perspective on the future.   
As the plane landed in Wisconsin, Ashley, Madelyn, and Charlie made their way to rent a car and head up to Madelyn's parent's place in Middleton. For awhile they've needed a change of scenery, and Ashley's grandparents haven't been back to Atlanta since Charlie was born. She and Jessica grew up in this town, and have many memories here. Ashley can remember when she moved here from the other side of Wisconsin when she was in middle school, and she met Jessica on her first day. Ashley found her to be kind and gentle from day one. She was the first friend Ashley made, and the one who helped her get through eight grade. In middle school, you struggle to figure out who you are, to fit in, and it was like you had to become a different person in this environment. With Jessica it was never complicated or fake, and Ashley could just relax and be herself. It's a big part of what made Ashley and Jessica fall in love.   
Madelyn pulled up to her parent's house, still with the same wide front porch her father liked to sit on in the spring, and her mother's flowers growing in the garden. As they got out of the car, Madelyn's father, Martin came out to greet them.   
"Hey Honey, how've you been? How was your trip?"  
"Great Dad, everything went fine. The flight wasn't any trouble at all."   
Madelyn and Ashley both hugged the older man before he came over to coo at the baby.   
"Hey there, Charlie. Look how big you are now."   
The little one smiled at his great grandfather as they all made their way inside. Madelyn's mother, Catherine is just pouring her tea as she welcomes her family.   
"It's so good to see you again." She said greeting everyone.   
"Hi there baby boy, how are you?" Catherine says kissing Charlie.   
Catherine and Martin have lived here their whole lives. Catherine was a school nurse at the highschool for 25yrs, and Martin worked for a construction company. The two have long since retired and now they're just enjoying their time together. Madelyn loved growing up here with her family, her friends, and all the sights and nature here to see. There are all kinds of parks to take quiet walk in, and the trolley to take you around to see the town. Catherine has just about gotten lunch ready, and the family is ready to sit around the kitchen and catch up.   
"So it's been quite awhile since the funeral. How've you been doing, Honey?" Catherine asked Ashley.  
"I've been taking it one day at a time. I went back to work about two weeks ago."   
"That's good. Sounds like things are starting to return to normal...ya know, as much as they can be." Catherine said and Ashley nodded.   
That's all that could be done as of now. To just take everything day by day, and face the reality in front of them. Ashley knew her grandmother meant well and wanted the best for her, but it still hurt to be reminded that Jessica was gone. Soon lunch is finished and the family went to spend some time outside. Charlie sat on a blanket among his toys, and he is now able to stand. He can walk a little if he is holding onto something, but the little guy is determine trying everyday. Ashley is glad to see Charlie always smiling and happy. It's what got her through everyday seeing him in high spirits, and Charlie always had hugs and kisses for his momma. Martin is playing with Charlie and his bucket to place shapes through, while Ashley watches their interactions. Madelyn is sitting behind her daughter, and check in on her.   
"You doing alright, Sweetheart?"  
"Yeah, I'm okay." Ashley turns and nods.   
"If you need to I can watch Charlie while you take a walk."   
"Thank you, Mom. I'm okay right now."   
Later that night while everyone is asleep, Ashley is laying awake next to her sleeping son all snuggled up in his Paw Patrol blanket. Ashley is up watching a video on her phone she took of her and Jessica. It was the day the two of them came back from the doctor, and found out they were having a boy. In the video, Ashley is filming while laying next to her wife.   
"Hey there Mommy. So whatcha got there?"   
"It's a sonogram photo of our sweet baby boy." Jessica said showing the photo.  
Ashley layed her hand on Jessica's pregnant belly, feeling their some within. The two shared a kiss while exchanging 'I love yous'.   
"Hello in there, little man. You're mommy and I can't wait to meet you."   
Ashley watched the video the whole time crying. She missed so much hearing her wife's voice, and being with her, being able to kiss her goodnight. These videos and pictures of Jessica were all she had now. Many happy memories frozen in time to bring back all they shared together. Soon from beside her, Ashley heard a little voice say 'mommy'. Ashley looked to see Charlie with his head on his momma's shoulder watching the video, and reaching out towards the phone. Charlie has had some babbles before, but this was the first clearly spoken word from him. Ashley smiled, kissing the top of his head.  
"Yeah Honey, that's your mommy."   
More than anything, Ashley wanted to make sure Charlie knew Jessica and that his mommy was a wonderful woman who loved him very much. She kept watching the video until the two of them drifted off to sleep.  
The next day after everyone had lunch, Ashley took her mom up on her offer to watch Charlie while she took a walk. Although last night was emotional for her, being back in this quiet little town has made Ashley feel serene. Like she was able to finally settle down and regain some composure. It was nice to revisit the place of her childhood, and see some old friends who lived around town. Along her walk, Ashley decided to stop by a place she and Jessica spent much of their alone time together. At the edge of the road, there was a dock by the water that was quiet and unoccupied by others who were fishing. It is just the place Ashley needs to be to reconnect with those happy memories with her love. When she got there, she was met by workmen rebuilding the dock. It was mostly done and they were just finishing up replacing the boards at the very end of the dock. The old wood was piled up in a dumpster ready to be hauled away, and Ashley sat on a nearby bench feeling a bit defeated. Of course it wasn't like the dock was being taken away completely, just rebuilt but it still felt like a part of her memory was being taken away. Those boards could tell many stories of all who walked on them if they could talk. All who have come by to feed the ducks or watch the sunset, and of course all the time Ashley and Jessica spent there. This was where the two of them shared their first kiss, the first time they said 'I love you', and a place where they could be alone and share their most intimate secrets. Now these new boards would have to tell of their own. Soon one of the workers came up to Ashley, and it was a young man she recognized.   
"Hey Ashley."   
"Austin? Hey how are you? " Ashley said greeting him with a hug.  
"I'm doing good; how are you? When did you get back to town?"   
"Yesterday. We came to visit my grandparents." Ashley explained.   
Austin is an old friend Ashley and Jessica knew in middle school. He was part of their friend group all through highschool, and they haven't seen him since the wedding. He was now working for his dad's construction company and is enjoying this job so far.   
"I heard about what happened to Jessica. I'm really sorry."   
"Thank you." Ashley said.   
Austin caught Ashley staring at the wood in the dumpster, and hopped up to grab something.  
"Oh, I almost forgot."  
He walked over to the tree and came back with one of the old boards, handing it to Ashley. It was the board she and Jessica etched their initials into. She had almost forgotten about this until now and the gesture really meant alot to her.   
"I didn't know when I'd see you again. I was going to hold onto it until I could get it to you."   
"Wow Austin, thank you. This really means a lot."   
Ashley was grateful that she could hang onto this part of their story. Even though things change, she could still hold onto to her precious memories for the past.   
That night after the dock was finished, Ashley was able to revisit it. While walking onto it out towards the water and quietly watching the sunset, this place evoked the same feeling in her. The dock itself is new but this is still the same place that always brought Ashley peace. She sat on the edge and layed back looking at the sky, feeling more whole than she has in a long while. As the sun was going down and more stars began to appear, Ashley stared up at them as she did many times with Jessica. In this place, it felt like her love was still with her. She never wanted to let that feeling go and never wanted to leave this dock. Surley she'd have to come home and visit more often. Ashley made a promise to herself that she would hold all those important in her life as close as possible, and let them know how special they are. Even though she couldn't take this dock back to Atlanta with her, fortunately those start she is staring at would follow her anywhere.   
This has been a great trip for Ashley and Madelyn. The change of scenery did both of them good and it was nice for them to visit family. The car was packed up to head to the airport, and the family is sitting down to dinner before saying goodbye. 

"This roast came out really good, Mom." Madelyn told Catherine.   
"Oh thanks, Honey. It's been awhile since we've had a big dinner like this. No sense getting a whole roast for just me and your dad. It was nice to have a family dinner here."   
"We'll definitely have to do it again." Madelyn said.   
"Yeah, don't be a stranger." Martin told her. "Without you here, your mother makes me go shopping with her, and then we have to watch that singing show where they spin around in chairs."   
"The Voice." Madelyn confirmed.   
"Yeah, that one. When you're here, Mom has more to do and she's not bugging me."   
"Oh, you stop." Catherine laughed swatting his shoulder.   
"Well, thank you for having us, Nana." Ashley said.  
"Of course, Sweetie. You guys are welcome anytime. Be sure to hug and kiss this little guy for me." Catherine says kissing Charlie.   
"No problem."   
They all clean up after dinner and give one last hug and kiss goodbye. It was nice being back here to refresh, and remember all the good times had here. On their flight home, Ashley thought about how much she'd like to come back and visit. She knew there were plenty of happy memories to come back to, and she'd never have to worry about forgetting Jessica. 

It was early morning here and very quiet when Ashley arrived at the cemetery with yellow daisies in her hand. She hasn't visited Jessica's grave in awhile, and it's been long overdue. She knelt down by the headstone reading her wife's name, 'Jessica Lorraine Smith-Jones', and laid the flowers in front of it. She sat their quietly not knowing what to say at first, then just spoke from the heart.   
"Hi Baby. I know it's been awhile since I've come by here...but I promise it won't be so long next time." Ashley sighed. "I miss you, Sweetheart. It hurts going to bed without you, and waking up without you, and I really miss you. Charlie is getting so big. He'll be walking any day now. Everytime I look at him I see you, and I think it's what has gotten me through all of this." Ashley says wiping away tears.   
"You've been the best, most special part of my life. I wish we got to have more time, but I'll never, ever regret knowing you and being in love with you because you have made my life better, so thank you, Baby." Ashley said blowing her a kiss.   
As she is about to get up, Ashley hears footsteps behind her and saw Beca and Aubrey walking up to her. Soon to be followed by the rest of the girls who all came with flowers.  
"Hey, I thought we'd find you here." Beca told Ashley.   
"Hey, you're all here." Ashley said looking at all her friends.  
The girls greeted Ashley with a hug, and placed their flowers on Jessica's grave. Their fallen friend was a part of all of them, shown clearly by all the flowers among her resting place. Ashley is comforted to see the impact Jessica has made on those around her, and to see how loved she is. The Bellas have stuck by Ashley through all of this, and it made her feel like she could move forward in good time.   
"What do you say with all of us here, we go have breakfast together?" Aubrey suggested.   
The girls all went to the cafe down the street for breakfast, caught up on their lives over the past few months, and reminisced about old times. This was a good feeling for Ashley to be among friends and laugh together. She would always miss Jessica, but with her friends around to remember the good times, she didn't have to worry about forgetting them.   
After their meeting, Ashley and Janet went to lunch and were getting to know each other better. Janet talked to her about Sam and how they met after college, and their first date was at a Fourth of July carnival. They had fun enjoying hot dogs, pretzels, and a firework show on the beach. She still had the stuffed dog he won her at one of the game stands. Ashley then talked about she and Jessica's first date.   
"We were fourteen when we started dating so my mom drove us to the movies, and we saw 'Finding Nemo', and then we ate at the buffet next to the theater. I remember her eating a brownie with a fork."   
"Really?" Janet chuckled.   
"Yeah, I told her how dainty the looked eating her brownie, and she laughed. I was so nervous to go out with her. I kept hoping I was making a positive impression on her."   
"Well obviously you have." Janet told her. "From everything you've told me, it seems like she adored you."   
Ashley nodded. She's always felt adored by her wife, even from the time they were young.   
"When Jessica and I were in middle school, I was much heavier back then. Sometimes it felt like my weight was the only thing people could see. The other girls tormented me to the point where I didn't want to go to school. Jessica never saw me as the fat girl; like it never even occured to her. My mom and other people in my life meant well, but I would always hear suggestions to lose weight because it would make me feel better. I think Jessica was the first person to really see me for who I was."   
Ashley cried at the memory, while Janet took her hand.   
"She sounds like she was really special."   
"She was." Ashley nodded. "I feel very lucky to have had her all these years. For so long after the accident I asked why this had to happen. I hoped to wake up and this would all be a bad dream. I'd wish that I could start over, and go back to a time before any of this happened. But we can't go back and that's just the way it is. It's been remembering how lucky I am that Jessica was in my life that's been helping me through the past couple months."   
"I definitely know what that's like." Janet said. "9/11 has taken so much from me, and from many people. I was angry for a long time that Sam was there to help people, and it cost him his life. I had to learn to hang on to all those good times that made me feel happy to be with him."   
"Being happy sounds really good. I've been trying to work on that."   
"You'll get there, Sweetie."   
The two finished their lunch and left with a hug. Ashley and Janet have become good friends who could really understand what the other was going through. Ashley is at the point of accepting the situation as it is, and maybe someday she could truly feel happy again. 

That evening Ashley took Charlie to visit with Ed and Evelyn. The two ladies sat and had tea, while Ed watched Charlie play with his toys. Evelyn told Ashley about how Ed has been back to work for awhile now, and that they've had a mostly quiet weekend. Ashley spoke a little about her grief counseling, and how it's been a comfort to talk with this group. While they talked, Ashley and Evelyn watched Ed interact with his grandson, laughing and smiling with the little boy. The man hasn't smiled like that in awhile, and it seems the time with Charlie is exactly what he needed.   
Ever since this whole mess happened, Evelyn has had plenty of worry for everyone. Worry for Ashley, worry for Charlie, and a lot of worry for her husband. Ed was used to being a strong, stoic figure who took care of his family. When Jessica died he focused on taking care of Evelyn and being strong for her. He didn't like to talk about his feelings, but Evelyn knew how much he has been hurting. Lately the couple has found themselves getting back to their routine. Ed is back to work, and Evelyn has gotten a lot done organizing the house, and following her to do lists. She and Ed have even had dinner out a couple of nights this week. Evelyn knew Jessica would want them to enjoy their lives and not spend all their time being sad. They still very much miss her, but knew it was time to get back to normal. While Ashley is feeding Charlie his dinner she is talking to Ed, who is looking like he is more at ease these days. 

"So this little guy is certainly getting big."   
"Yeah, he's already grown out of his first high chair, so I got the next size up."   
"How many teeth is he up to now?"   
"He's got four, along with another one starting to push through." Ashley told him.   
"Time sure flies by quickly; doesn't it?"   
"Yeah, I can't believe he's going to be a year old soon." Ashley said.   
"It's been good to see you." Ed told Ashley. "Being with you and Charlie, I feel like I don't have to miss Jessica so much."   
"I know how you feel." Ashley nodded. "It's been good to have Charlie around family."   
It meant a lot to Ashley to hear Ed express his gratitude towards her. She always wanted Jessica's parents to know how much she loved her.   
"I feel like my daughter was really lucky and that you've been a wonderful addition to our family."   
"Thank you, Sir." Ashley said in tears.   
The two shared a brief hug while it comforted Ashley to know her father in law truly appreciated her. She really liked Ed and Evelyn, and it made her happy that she and Jessica's relationship was always accepted by them. She knew how it could have been. Many gay kids have had struggles with their families after coming out and a lot to overcome, but these two always saw the girls as two people in love and deserved to be together. Ashley felt good knowing her parents would remember their daughter as someone who lived a life where she had a wonderful, close family who dearly loved her. 

It's the end of the day, and Ashley has just given Charlie a bath and is getting him ready for bed. Ashley and Madelyn have discussed that she is doing better now, and it's time for Madelyn to return home. Ashley has enjoyed her mother's company during this time, but it was time now to return to their normal lives. Ashley has gotten Charlie into his pajamas while Madelyn is packing up her things.   
"I can still stay longer if you need me to."   
"No Mom, it's okay." Ashley chuckled. "I'll be fine here on my own."   
"Well ya know, I still worry. It's what Moms do."   
"I know, Mom." Ashley smiled hugging her.   
"Thank you for everything."   
"You're welcome, Sweetheart. Call me if you need anything."  
"I will, I love you."   
"I love you, too."   
She bid her mother goodbye, and Ashley was on her own again. She picked up Charlie and took him to his room to put him to bed. Ashley sat with him in the rocking chair, observing him while he slowly drifted off. She is at peace holding her sleeping baby boy, while listening to the sound of his breathing. Ashley is finally at a point where she could think about Jessica without immediately crying. She would always have Jessica in her heart, and she would remain in their son's heart as well. Ashley thought about her wife while she stroked Charlie's hair, knowing that even though she is gone, Ashley would always get to hold onto the best part of her. She couldn't wait to see Charlie grow up, learn new things, and become the best he could be. No matter where life takes them, it will take them there together.


End file.
